Talking about contraception with my mum

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El000
not a newbie
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Joined: Thu Mar 23, 2023 12:31 pm
Age: 20
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Talking about contraception with my mum

Unread post by El000 »

Hello everyone,
I'm 19 year old and I've been with my boyfriend for a few months and my parents have been aware of that. This is also my first serious relationship so I'm pretty new to anthing that comes with it. We did start getting more intimate (even tho we have never had penetrative sex) but I then realized the anxiety related to a possible pregnancy this was giving me was not worth it. As a side note, I should definitely work on that (because honestly with the kind of sexual contact we had there is basically zero risk).
My boyfriend is totally cool with avoiding any kind of sexual contact and has been supporting me a lot, despite this I still want to get intimate with him sooner or later.
We would definitely use a condom but I still would feel a lot safer using two kinds of contraceptive at the same time (I'm also really scared by any "mistake" that could happen during foreplay). I would love to talk about this with my mom before even going to the OBGYN to talk about which kind of contraceptive I should use but I feel like she could be really unhappy about me possibly having sex. We don't usually talk about thing things and we do have very different views on things such as abortion, sex before marriage,... I feel like the conversation would heat up really fast and that I would end up ruining the already not-so-perfect relationship I have with her.
I know that I could totally do everything by myself (I also live alone so it would be pretty easy) but having her by my side would really mean a lot to me. It would also mean I have the chance to discuss with her the possibile side effects since there are some conditions that run in my family that could make methods with oestrogens quite risky. So yeah... I really want to do it...
I know that without knowing my mom (and me) it's very hard to answer the following question. But, do you think there is a good way to approach the conversation?
Thank youuu
and sorry for the mistakes, English is not my first language!
Nicole
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Re: Talking about contraception with my mum

Unread post by Nicole »

Hi El000,

Welcome to the boards! We've been having a lot of users come to us with pregnancy anxiety and I think you did the right thing about putting off penetrative sex for your own mental well-being. You mentioned that you want to work on your pregnancy anxiety, do you need any help with this from our end? Please let us know!

I understand your concerns about reaching out to your mom about this matter. Again, I think you're doing all the right things and being proactive! Having someone's support is important and I'm glad that you want to be transparent with your mom. We would love to brainstorm ideas with you for starting this conversation. For now, I want to recommend one of our resources: About That "Talk" with Your Parents.... Please take a look and let me know what you think. Then, we can move forward! How does that sound?
El000
not a newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Mar 23, 2023 12:31 pm
Age: 20
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Italy

Re: Talking about contraception with my mum

Unread post by El000 »

Thank you for your reply!
I definitely do have a lot of pregnancy anxiety so I'd love to get some help about that too!
The page that you linked does have some pretty cool ideas, I'll definitely take some ideas from there. I also just introduced my boyfriend to my parents and I think my mom is really happy about him so this does give me some confidence :-)!
Sofi
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Re: Talking about contraception with my mum

Unread post by Sofi »

We have some super helpful resources about this, I'll send the article that has all of them in there (there's also Impurity Culture: Pregnancy and Fear which talks about pregnancy anxiety, and let us know if they brought up any follow-up questions or concerns for you!
Pregnancy Scare Resources
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