Frustrated/made anxious by philosophy I just don’t understand

[Asking Queries]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been doing some reading about post-modernism and feminist/gender theory (especially Judith Butler). I feel frustrated that I don’t understand these ideas—while I’m sure that a lot of criticism of these ideas are based on political views, I agree that they are extremely difficult to understand at times—and more generally, I feel like the very philosophies that I try to use to understand my situation (ie, gender theory) are ones that I don’t understand and that are under constant criticism. Like, I know that I am a girl, and I know that women shouldn’t be oppressed, but I feel unable to connect those ideas to anything more philosophical then vaguely pointing to feminism and gender theory.
This probably is more generally about me being autistic and wanting logical and reliable ways to understand the world — the concepts of the Enlightenment and the use of science for political aims has obviously been a disaster for an enormous amount of people (colonialism, the continuation of misogyny, ableism, racism, etc, etc), but I feel like can actually understand them. I feel trapped between obviously problematic ideas/ideologies and ideas/ideologies so confusing I can’t even evaluate thrm

[Asking Queries]

Uhh
I didn’t mean to post this
I guess I’ll leave it up

To clarify what I’m saying in the last sentence, the problem isn’t that I disagree with post-modernism, gender theory, or feminism, but that I literally aren’t sure what I would be agreeing with or disagreeing with. The things people say that Judith Butler has said make sense to be and feel right to me, but I feel unable to verify what they actually said because I just don’t understand it.
I know the things people have about their experiences of the world (ie, all the various oppressions), but I feel like those experiences are so massively disconnected from academic ideas of oppression.

Someone please tell me if I’m doing down a problematic line of thinking, I’m feeling really stressed and destabilized by all of this.

- AQ

[aarija]

Hey AQ,
You're not wrong in feeling that peoples' experiences are disconnected from the academic ideas of oppression. The writings can be very helpful in making sense of how the world works, but the ideas don't always hit home, especially if we haven't experienced what the writer is talking about. Not every piece of theory will land with everyone, and some that you don't understand now may click into place later in life.

What helps me is finding things relevant to what I am experiencing at the moment, and viewing my life through the lens the author is creating. Does that make sense?

You're not on a problematic line of thinking, it's actually very perceptive to see the disconnect between the writing and the world. Where do you feel that stress is coming from?