being into bondage as a minor is mildly annoying

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Not At All
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being into bondage as a minor is mildly annoying

Unread post by Not At All »

I'm aro/ace; I'm not interested in romance and I find sex revolting. for as long as I can remember I’ve been into bondage. and for as long as I’ve been into bondage I was well aware that I would have to wait until I was an adult to engage in it, and that I'm growing inpatient with waiting. I’ve scarcely tried self bondage but it's never satisfying.
I think that I'm old enough (15 ½) to try it out now with others my age but I have no idea how. I'm not and don't want to be dating so that's not an option. I tried matchmaking Instagram accounts but they all seem inactive, and I'm sure that there aren’t any dating apps for minors. so how do I go about this…?
Sam W
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Re: being into bondage as a minor is mildly annoying

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Not At All,

This does sound frustrating, especially since there are a few different things that could make finding a partner for this difficult. One, as you've mentioned, is your age, since that takes sites built for matching people, or spaces built specifically for finding people with interests in specific kinks, off the table. Then there's the fact that a lot of people tend to see bondage as inherently sexual, meaning it might take some searching to find someone who sees it as you do.

Speaking of which, one thing that might be helpful that you can do right now is figure out how to articulate what about bondage appeals to you. If it's not sexual, is it comforting? Is there something about the trust involved that appeals to you? Something else? The clearer a picture you have of that, the easier it will be to explain what you're looking for to others, and to identify people who could bring the things that you're looking for to the interaction (for instance, maybe there ends up being a friend who's comfortable exploring this with you).

Too, I wonder if it's worth looking for experiences of other ace/aro people who have found ways to non-sexually explore what people would consider a kink. Have you looked for any of those?
Not At All
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Re: being into bondage as a minor is mildly annoying

Unread post by Not At All »

something about being deprived of physical freedom is appealing to me.
I'm realizing if anything I'm struggling with how to bring up the subject. and no I haven’t tried looking in queerplatonic communities, I don’t know how it didn’t cross my mind. with the nature it wouldn't be too out of left field thing to bring up so that can be a start 🙏🏽
aulikevan05
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Re: being into bondage as a minor is mildly annoying

Unread post by aulikevan05 »

Me too! Ever since i watched that episode of One Life to Live where Todd Manning is tied up shirtless by his evil brother Victor Lord JR in the basement. I saw that episode with my Grandmother at the age of 3 and i have been in to it ever since. I understand your struggle since i am 17 and i have been really longing to be tied up and be called names too!
aulikevan05
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Re: being into bondage as a minor is mildly annoying

Unread post by aulikevan05 »

Not At All wrote: Thu Mar 09, 2023 6:06 pm something about being deprived of physical freedom is appealing to me.
I'm realizing if anything I'm struggling with how to bring up the subject. and no I haven’t tried looking in queerplatonic communities, I don’t know how it didn’t cross my mind. with the nature it wouldn't be too out of left field thing to bring up so that can be a start 🙏🏽
If you are intrested in talking it out with someone who is into similar things who is around the same age (17 y/o male) from Wisconsin. I am willing and able to offer my help. Please let me know how you would like to talk.

Sincencerly [name redacted per our guidelines - H]
Heather
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Re: being into bondage as a minor is mildly annoying

Unread post by Heather »

Hey there, aulikeevan05:

Just a reminder per our user registration agreement and guidelines that:
a) It's not okay to post personally identifying information about yourself or others here, like a full name or address.
b) There aren't other ways here on Scarleteen besides the boards for users to connect with each other, and that's something we have always done to assure everyone's safety as best we can. Please don't offer or ask other users to try and contact you outside the boards. You're certainly welcome to talk with others right in board threads, though.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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