nervous about interacting with nsfw online spaces

[mel]

hi there. okay so i turned 18 a little over a month ago and i've been thinking about interacting with nsfw online spaces for a little bit now. but, as the title indicates, i'm pretty nervous about it. i mean, i kind of have already- sometimes ill browse through some raunchy fanart/fanfiction (that's just how i prefer to interact with it)- but i don't post anything of my own or actually talk in detail about nsfw stuff with anyone. and like, i tend to be nervous about where i search for fanart so i dont use like google or something- so what i find is usually pretty limited and id like it if i could see more.

i've really wanted to at least try posting stuff for a while now, like to my own blog (separate from a main one on the sites i use of course lol) or post an artwork ive done in a server of a messaging app's nsfw channel. but for some reason i cant seem to work up the courage to do that.

i mean, just posting my stuff somewhere would be rather easy. but the server one is the one i have a bit more of an issue with. you see if i want to have access to the nsfw channels on that server, i have to contact a moderator about it and they have to then give me the role to be able to view it. since ive been on that server since before i turned 18, for some reason it makes me even more nervous to ask for it. i dont know if theyre gonna try to do any kind of checks for it and if so, what are they going to ask for?

i also have a lot of nervousness about interacting with or making nsfw stuff because i constantly feel like im "too immature" to be messing with it. like i very often think of horny scenarios, make lots of raunchy jokes, and masturbate and yet whenever i interact with nsfw stuff even if it mostly feels good in my back of my mind theres always this voice going "hey, you shouldn't be looking at that!!!" and its so annoying and i hate it. i dont know if its just because of general shame or because i (suspect) i have adhd and/or autism or because of anxiety or because im asexual & often try to overcompensate for my lack of sexual attraction because of that or if its a mix of all those or what but i just would rather not feel this nervousness anymore be able to actually do the stuff i wanna do

[CaitlinEve]

Hi mel!

These definitely sound like concerns that are causing you a lot of anxiety. Many people see the threshold between 17 and 18, minor and adult, to be this magical barrier that you cross one day where you instantly become a mature, fully settled adult but unfortunately that's not how it works! You are freshly 18, so please don't feel like you're immature for being nervous or for engaging with that material! Sexuality is something that doesn't have an age minimum.

Regarding the server, if anything I believe they'd be happy that you waited until you were actually 18 to request access, as that doesn't always happen! Checks like that vary on the individual server, but some ask your birth date or to see a picture of your ID (with identifying information blurred out; don't doxx yourself!). Some just don't ask questions at all!

I think the best way to stop feeling this nervousness is to work yourself up to it! Maybe create a seperate blog or account that isn't connected to you or your main at all to post nsfw content on, if you're worried about it being traced back to you. It may take a while for that voice in your head to quiet down and let you enjoy sexual content and that's okay too! It's a process.

[mel]

hey caitlin! this makes me feel significantly happier and more confident about posting this stuff online and making the effort to try and get that access role on the server. thank you so much for responding ^-^