What are you all doing right now to cope with the state of the world?

[Oscar Doe]

Everything is a lot right now. I'm wondering how y'all are handling this? The rise of fascism and all. I'm horrified by the actions of the American and Israeli governments and I think that anyone involved in the bombing of innocent civilians should be tried for mass murder.
I've been trying to cope. I just need to get through high school. What I've been doing is try and be proactive in whatever I can do but at this point it honestly seems like there's not much. I decided to sell some of my stuff because of some crazy laws and things that are being passed I'm really scared I will have to run away bc I'm disabled. I haven't seen any protests going on in my area, I guess it takes time to organize, but I will be attending when they are organized. I've been trying to focus on what I can make better in my little corner of the world. Just caring for my pets, studying, being a shoulder to cry on, things like that. I'm only 17 I don't know what to do. I'm so scared. How is everyone else holding up? What are you doing to cope? Is there anything I can do right now to take action?

[Andy]

Hi Oscar Doe,

I’m sorry to hear you are not feeling well. It sounds like you have been having a rough couple of weeks and I can see how the current fighting escalation makes it all harder and scarier.

I’m in Europe so I don’t have the first hand experience of the state of things in the US now so other people might have more to say about it, but it definitely sounds very stressful, especially as a disabled queer person and I’m sorry you are living in that. That I’m in Europe also means that the war in Ukraine has been very present the last four years so I want to share a few thoughts and things that has been helping me.

When any kind of humanitarian catastrophe happens, it’s natural and admirable that you want to join in, take action and help people. And it has been the most helpful thing for me as well, it doesn’t need to be in a big way, it doesn’t even need to be for a cause related to the catastrophe, but doing something meaningful is not only a good way to make like-minded people but also a really good distraction. And I’m glad to hear you are already doing that, because even though you call it your "little" corner of the world, the things you mentioned, like taking care of yourself and your pets or being there for other people, do a lot to make the big world that is made of many of those little corners a better place (it might sound corny but I see it like that). It might also help to mindfully divide your days into parts of "I’m concerning myself with the scary world right now" as in volunteering, organising, reading news and looking up info and "I’m taking care of myself and living my own life now", when you study, spend time with your pets and friends etc.

As for having to move out, that sounds like a scary option having to think of. I’m wondering if you have had a chance to talk about this with your family? That might be about what needs to happen for you to seriously consider that option, how would you do it, what would you take or where you would go. Often having a clear plan makes it easier to navigate difficult situations and decisions.

You have mentioned a few times needing to finish high school, I’m wondering if you already have some plans or ideas about what you want to do after it? Do you want to go study at a college? What degree you might be interested in? Do you want to get a job, what would be your dream one? Are there any places you want to visit, people you want to meet...?
The present can seem scary, because parts of it are, but having a plan or even just a dream, about how you want your future to look like can be like lighthouse, so helpful for getting through it <3

Take care Oscar!

[Oscar Doe]

Ty for your advice, I really appreciate it! I have talked with my family about wanting to leave, unfortunately we're in a sticky situation because my parents went through a divorce recently and my dad has been really weird. My sibling is only 14 so if we wanted to go somewhere, at least all together as a family, we would have to wait until they are 18 so they're not stuck in Utah because of my dad. I'm turning 18 in September and I'm seriously considering my options. I don't want to leave my family. But if things get any worse I might have to. I guess if they actually start sending people to those "wellness camps" they're proposing then I would definitely have to leave. I think I might move north to Canada, at least at first. Canada has a lot of the same problems as the U.S. (a lot of places do so I'm not sure where would be a good option) but at least Canada isn't under a fascist regime right now lmfao. My cousins have dual citizenship somewhere in Europe I forget which country, so I guess if they move back there I might try to follow them if I can get a visa.

After highschool I want to go to college and perhaps get a job at a crematory while I'm in college. I'm planning on studying to be a mortician I want to visit Dublin because that's where some of my ancestors are from

[lilikoi]

Hi OscarDoe,

Love the idea of becoming a mortician. I rarely think about that career path and skill set but I bet it would be meaningful!

Your thought process is totally understandable. I can't lie. I have thought about moving to Canada a few times in the last year since Trump returned to office. (It's not that far from where I am in Washington so the pull is hard to ignore!) When my mind goes there, I try to remember that it is easy to catastrophize in times of uncertainty. With my brain, once I have reached catastrophizing, I'm just a hop and a skip away from spiraling anxiety -- not fun. While planning your way out of a dangerous or unhealthy situation is supportive if things take a turn for the worst, there is a chance that things will not take that turn for the worst. Losing sight of that chance is what anxiety is all about. When I notice myself sucked down a catastrophe rabbit hole, I try to think about a few alternative pathways for the future that don't end in disaster. Usually that lands me with 1 or 2 pathways that include my positive impact on the world. I agree with Andy that even responding in your little corner of the world can create a moment of recovery for you which has ripple effects on your capacity to respond in the future as well!

In addition, I have noticed that controlling my media consumption is important for my appropriate response to the news. The media makes money off of sensationalizing information. This means that they make it seem like this moment is a unique spectacle. I have noticed that by consuming media, I am more likely to feel confused about what avenues for change exist for me. I have gotten rid of my social media accounts and now have a routine of checking news outlets for a certain amount of time in the morning. It helps me anticipate disturbing news so I am not shocked into paralysis.

While moving away from the problem feels like the best case scenario, there will always be issues to respond to no matter where you are. It is useful to think about how to manage your distress in the face of trouble. Have you tried any strategies for managing your stress and distress to avoid the overwhelm you've been feeling? Also, in the midst of political upheaval, it can be hard to manage a shift in family dynamics as major as divorce. I am sorry to hear your dad is not handling the transition well. Have you been able to chat with your parents about the impact the divorce has on your day to day?