I s**** up. I'm extremely scared

[emmajones2]

So I was seeing this guy, he was so sweet and romantic, I believed it. We had sex two times, the first time we used protection, the second time, I was soooo horny and in love with him that I agreed to do it without protection he didn't come inside, but after that, randomly speaking, he told me that he's had 9 sexual partners, and that some of their vagina smelled real bad. I got so scared.

Well, now, he ghosted me lol, I'm broken hearted but also so scared, what if he gave me an STD. I know I was stupid and naive, that won't happen again, but now I'm so anxious thinking about that what should I do?

[Sam W]

Hi emmajones2,

I'm sorry that this guy wasn't honest with you about his sexual history; that's a really crummy thing to do to a partner, especially if you're the one pushing to not use a condom. As much as you can, try not to beat yourself up for that choice; your partner withheld important information from you and you made your decision based on that. And, if nothing else, going forward you can treat this as a learning experience, one that's shown you that if a partner won't use a condom, they're not the partner for you.

There are a few different things you can do here. One is to take a deep breath; while it can be scary to not know your STI status, there are lots of testing options available to help you find out if he did transmit something to you. This article offers an overview of those options--including ones you can do at home--and we're happy to help you figure out how to access testing in your area if you're not sure how to do that: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... tested_for

Too, the majority of STIs are either curable (so they can go away with the right treatment) or, if they're incurable, there are ways of managing them so they have as limited an effect on your health as possible. So even if a test comes back positive, it isn't the end of the world, even if it might feel incredibly stressful at the time.

I do also want to say that I'd take his comment about the smell of his other partner's genitals with a grain of salt. While a strong or unusual odor can be a sign of an infection--though not necessarily an STI--the person in the best position to know whether something smells "off" is the person whose vagina that actually is. Too, plenty of cis men have some pretty inaccurate ideas about what vaginas actually smell like. So I'd focus less on the comment and more on the fact that you know you had unprotected sex and that's why you need to get tested.