i don't understand my anatomy

[noelletay]

i've watched so many videos explaining female anatomy, with diagrams and models included, but i'm really struggling to translate them onto my own vagina.

firstly, i don't know which parts of my vagina are the labia. from what i can understand, there are outer labia and inner labia. i don't know if the very outer part of my vagina is the outer labia, or if the hairless 'lips' are the outer labia. when i open them, there's a raised area inside and i can't tell if this is the inner labia (although to be honest, i don't think it is because it doesn't seem to part like labia usually would).

secondly, i can't find my clitoral hood. i don't know if it's high and more external, near the top of my vulva, or much further down and behind my labia. i also can't see my actual clitoris.

i can't find my actual vaginal opening either. i've never put anything up there, i haven't even tried to use a tampon because i'm so sensitive and when i try to put a finger up it doesn't go further than maybe 1cm, so i can't tell if i'm just pressing into my skin or actually going up a hole. i also can't tell if the hole goes directly upwards or angles backwards.

i've tried looking in the mirror but i'm just so confused. my labia are at least visible, i just don't know which are which, but i literally cannot see a clitoris or vaginal opening and i have no idea what a clitoral hood is supposed to look like. i've tried looking at diagrams and matching myself up but i'm really struggling.

[Latha]

Hi Noelletay, welcome to the boards!

I understand why you're struggling, this isn't always that obvious! Don't worry, we can go over this and try to answer some of your questions.


You've probably seen diagrams like the one above before. This is the external genitals, called the vulva. The vagina is just one part of your anatomy — it is the passage that leads from the vaginal opening to your cervix.

You know that there are two sets of labia: your outer labia should be covered with pubic hair if you don't remove it. You might think of this as the outer part of your vulva, closest to your thighs. The hairless lips you've described are probably the inner labia. These can come in different sizes — as our article on anatomy notes, they may be thick and long, or barely visible. I wouldn't be especially surprised if you can't 'part' them. That's perfectly alright.

The clitoral hood is a skin fold made where the inner labia connect. It is located just below the mons, near the top of the vulva. If you're having trouble identifying this by sight, you could try going by how it feels instead. If you go down from your mons, you might reach an area that feels more sensitive — that should be your clitoral hood, with your clitoris beneath it. The clitoris itself is a small, oval nub, about the size of a pea. For some people, it may stick out of the hood, while for others it might be a bit more hidden.

Further down, you'll find your urethra and then your vaginal opening. In case you were wondering, this opening isn't a very distinct hole that you can see when something isn't inside of it. But if you've been getting periods, you can safely assume that there is an opening, even if it is hard to find.

If you're interested in masturbation, that might help here: being turned on can make it easier to identify these features. Arousal can increase blood flow to the vulva, which should make everything swell up and become more sensitive. It also increases lubrication, which could make it easier to insert things inside the vagina.

How does this sound so far?

[Heather]

I want to offer up one more thing on top of all that Latha provided!

The easiest answer to this may just be to see a sexual healthcare provider, and to ask them to use a mirror and help show you all of these parts on your own body. This is a part of any kind of healthcare, even if it's something we might not be used to knowing can be, since so often healthcare is just something we think of as what people get when they feel sick or are trying to prevent illness. Education is also part of the picture. So, you can make a basic general appointment and then ask for this when you're in the exam room. <3