Talk to someone

[Jacob]

I don't think it's useful to say "a kink" or tell your mom you're a teenager, your mom knows your age and neither of those things help your parents understand what's going on for you - if anything it makes it sound more unusual, whereas you're asking for it to be recognised and accepted.

Otherwise, what you wrote here sounds like it pretty much expresses what you have told us you want to say to them, so I wouldn't have any edits.

As an observation, I'd be wondering why you were giving me these details - so this would be a good place to include any a questions or a requests you have from them, and it might give them context for how to deal with information which otherwise might just be confusing.

[Laney]

Well I was just asking for advice I just don’t know what to say and I wanted to get your advice

[Heather]

Hey, Laney.

I feel like, four pages into this thread, you have been given advice, as much of it as we can possibly give you on this topic, so from here it's just a matter of whatever you choose to do with it.

I still personally maintain that in most families, talk between parents and their kids about what specific sexual activities people are engaging in -- when it isn't about help you need with those things, like say, with sexual healthcare or contraception or safety or working through adult help or support you need around negotiating things with a partner -- is often something that feels like it lacks the kinds of boundaries that most people want.

But this is your family, and you know the dynamics there in a way we can't, and we've also given you a diverse enough amount of input here that I feel you are as equipped as you can be in making these choices and having these discussions.

Things have become very circular here, so I'm going to go ahead and close up this thread, since we've done as much as we can do and conversations that don't end but also that aren't going to go to a new place just wind up tying us up in a way that isn't beneficial to anyone and also keep us from other work we need to do with other people or in other areas of the website.