Can’t masturbate, yet always horny

[Ms. Candy]

I am a young adult female with hormones that have been super high ever since i hit puberty. The problem is im constantly in the mood and im unable to get off without the help of a partner; long distance or in person, and i have neither. I cant insert my fingers without it hurting, I cant buy a toy as i dont have a car and online ordering would be risky as i live with family, and its really stressful and annoying emotionally and physically to feel this way all the time without any type of release.

[Willa]

Hi Ms. Candy,

I am sorry this has been a stressful and annoying experience for you! When thinking about masturbation one aspect is that we are relaxed in our minds and our bodies. Sometimes when something is stressing us out or upsetting us, it takes us out of the moment and the goal to orgasm becomes much more difficult to reach. How engaged mentally are you during these sessions? For masturbation to be enjoyable it can be very important for many to reach a state of arousal first. Even something as simple as focusing on a pleasurable memory with a partner can help relax and focus on the mind on the act of masturbation.

As for the insertion of your fingers, it sounds like you may not be aroused enough at that point to where penetration would be comfortable to your body. It may be helpful to think about what is pleasurable to experience with a partner, and to aim to mirror that stimulation yourself- whether that be internal or external. Does that make sense?

[Heather]

I also want to add that most places that ship toys do so in ways that are incredibly discreet. Unless your family members open your mail or packages -- a thing you can ask them not to do anymore, if so -- no one will know what you have ordered.