Pee vs squirt?

[looking4advice]

Hello,

I keep trying to find a clearer answer on whether I am losing control of my bladder or ‘squirting’ during orgasm. If my boyfriend makes me cum I usually have to push him away if he is still stimulating me after climax as it feels like I’m about to pee all of a sudden. I can’t control it if I’m not quick enough to pull away and I suddenly feel a gush of fluid from my urethra I presume. It feels good and the orgasm continued and felt more complete but the idea of wetting myself is a huge turnoff even though my boyfriend insists he doesn’t care and has tried to reassure me that I shouldn’t worry about it. It has happened twice now recently, before this I’ve always been quick to pull away/make him stop. I don’t leak urine during any other time in sex or anything it’s just when I’m orgasming or I suddenly get the feeling if I’m being highly stimulated so I’m unsure whether this is incontinence or normal. From what I have found squirting is mostly from the bladder anyways but I don’t like the feeling that I’m going to kind of urinate uncontrollably. It’s not like I’m emptying a full bladder, and when I smell it it doesn’t smell of much but I’m so embarrassed when it happens.

I would really appreciate if someone can explain what might be going on

[Ellie]

Hi looking4advice,

Welcome to the boards!

What you are describing sounds like ejaculation, or "squirting," which is not the same as urinating. While it appears that this kind of ejaculation is a function of the paraurethral glands (like the Skene's glands) which comes through the urethra -- the same place we urinate -- and the fluid is a lot like urine, enough research has been done which finds this fluid to be very different from urine, even though it's possible some elements of urine are in the mix. To simplify this, what's thought to date is that we have a bladder and we have paraurethral glands, both of which can and often do contain fluids. When we put pressure on those areas or the areas surrounding them (both due to how arousal expands things in and around our genitals, and due to actual pressure put by fingers, hands or anything else during sex), that fluid sometimes squirts out. The same thing happens when we squeeze a water balloon or a sponge. In general, ejaculating is not always something people can voluntarily control, and it's a natural part of sexual function for many people. It's great that your boyfriend doesn't mind and reassures you. Does this explanation help?

Here's a more in depth article on the subject: Squirt: On Ejaculation