Virgin

[kimchiadobo@02]

I am a virgin. My boyfriend and I are trying to have sex. Unfortunately, its painful for me when he puts it inside. And every time we try there’s some blood. We already tried a few times but still the same painful and some blood.

I also noticed that every time we tried my period comes early. Like the following day. Is that normal? Or was i stressed out.

It is frustrating

[CaitlinEve]

Hello kimchiadobo@02, welcome to Scarleteen!

I'm sorry to hear that, it's understandable that you're frustrated! How are you and your partner preparing for sex? It may be that you are experiencing pain and bleeding because your body isn't being prepared and eased into penetration. It's important to spend time getting to know what does and does not work for you. Take it slow at first, use lots of lubrication, and communicate; sex should not hurt (if you don't want it to) and bleeding may mean that there are microtears being formed. This article may help you with this process.

As for your period, how often are you attempting sex? Sex cannot really make your period come early, so it's likely that it just happens to coincide with your menstrual cycle. This could also be part of the reason there is bleeding during sex; it may not be from tears and instead is your menstruation starting.

Regardless, if this persists I would recommend going to a gynecologist if you have access to one to make sure you have the tools you need; some people need dilators to prepare themselves for penetration and that's perfectly okay and common!

[kimchiadobo@02]

We try it once a month. Our last one my period came 5 days early.


Does having retroverted uterus play a role in the pain?

[KierC]

Hi Kimchiadobo@02,

So, when you experienced pain during sex, was it at the entrance of the vaginal canal, or deeper? If at the entrance — when you’re starting to explore vaginal entry, it’s a good practice to use plenty of lubricant, and to go slowly to avoid bleeding and tears. Often, it can help to explore the vulva, too, or other erogenous zones across the body, before attempting insertion.

If the pain is deeper or associated with full insertion — having a retroverted uterus can certainly cause pain during sex for people, especially with deeper insertion, or certain positions. Deep insertion, and certain positions that hit the cervix more, can cause pain for plenty of folks, and if the uterus is retroverted, there may be more positions that cause that painful feeling or bleeding. Do you feel like you’d be able to try some different positions for more shallow penetration?

Also, have you discussed the painful sex and bleeding with a doctor, or follow-up with the doctor who diagnosed the retroverted uterus?