I think I should stay away from sexual activities?

[olivercuellar]

Hello! One thing has been worrying me a lot. For the past 7 months, all types of sexual activity have been making me extremely anxious. The reason? Pregnancy risks.

It all started in January, when my girlfriend didn't tell me she had her period. She always told me, even when we met back in early 2023. That month, I developed huge anxiety, and I was very scared. Until, the following month, I asked and everything was fine.

However, absolutely ALL sexual activity (even non-vaginal activity) scares me since then - even the risk of getting sperm or precum on my fingers. In May, we were so anxious that she even took Plan B (because we thought the condom had leaked even without me cumming, but it definitely didn't happen). And recently, she wanted to resume some vaginal penetration sexual activities because of the vaginismus she treated (theoretically, vaginal sex from time to time would be ideal) - and that scares me three times more. I'm worried about possible condom breaks, possible leaks... In other words, absolutely everything scares me. I do not know what to do. Should I stay away from sexual situations? I've been in therapy for 2 months, and my therapist is also a sexologist - but even so, it seems like I don't trust anyone and I always think that everything can cause pregnancy constantly. Every month, I get anxiety at absurd levels and cry frequently while she doesn't get her period. It's a terrible fear. Maybe I developed some trauma?

[Sam W]

Hi olivercuellar,

Given everything you're describing, I think abstaining from sex for the foreseeable future is the kindest choice for yourself. Since your therapist is someone who is clearly comfortable discussing sexual topics, have you and they talked about this situation and what might be causing this level of anxiety?