worried again

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naurmi008
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worried again

Unread post by naurmi008 »

hi!
things got steamy between my boyfriend and i (new guy, broke up with the last one)
we were completely naked but i can 100% be sure that he did NOT ejaculate and there was no direct genital to genital contact
the only thing i'm worried about is he touched his penis which might have had precum on it and afterwards fingered me (i think he touched my skin before this and a few minutes past) and the fact that his penis brushed my hip and there's a small chance it might've shortly brushed against my butt area (but there was no intentional direct genital to genital contact)
i'm worried this might pose a pregnancy risk
CaitlinEve
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Re: worried again

Unread post by CaitlinEve »

Hey naurmi008,

It's okay to be worried about this stuff, but don't stress yourself out too much because what you've described cannot result in a pregnancy. This article may help you with your anxiety regarding pregnancy risk!
naurmi008
not a newbie
Posts: 124
Joined: Thu May 25, 2023 5:55 am
Age: 16
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Indonesia

Re: worried again

Unread post by naurmi008 »

hi
i've read through the article a few times and it's calmed me down
it's just that i keep doubting myself, i know we didn't make any intentional direct genital-genital contact but i'm so worried that his genitals might've accidentally brushed over mine (even though i didn't feel it, so i think it didn't happen), it's like my mind's trying to trick me
CaitlinEve
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 136
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2024 2:54 pm
Age: 23
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Illinois

Re: worried again

Unread post by CaitlinEve »

Hi,

Our minds can be rude and mean to us sometimes and it's not uncommon to have that anxiety. You're definitely not alone in this! Even if his genitals did brush over yours, brushing is not enough to cause a pregnancy. Sperm is very fragile!

I have another article for you if you'd like to read more relating to risk to help your worries.
naurmi008
not a newbie
Posts: 124
Joined: Thu May 25, 2023 5:55 am
Age: 16
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Indonesia

Re: worried again

Unread post by naurmi008 »

hi! thanks for the response, it's helped a lot
i think i might've been overly paranoid, in my mind i KNOW that there's no way pregnancy would happen, but whenever i begin to relax, my mind keeps saying "but what if you're so sure it won't happen and then it suddenly happens?" and that's been stressing me out quite a bit
Sam W
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Re: worried again

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi naurmi008,

Since you know you have a history of anxiety around pregnancy, can you tell me a bit more about how you and he arrived at doing something that was very likely to cause that for you?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
naurmi008
not a newbie
Posts: 124
Joined: Thu May 25, 2023 5:55 am
Age: 16
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Indonesia

Re: worried again

Unread post by naurmi008 »

hi,
i assumed i'd gotten over these fears because the last time i had a sexual encounter, i was totally fine with it and had no anxiety surrounding it
i think one of the reasons why i'm so anxious this time is because it's with a new guy and not with my ex (whom i was with for quite a while), this guy's really sweet and always makes sure i'm comfortable, so i have no clue why i'm feeling anxious again
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: worried again

Unread post by Sam W »

It may very well be that some of the anxiety is because this is a new situation overall. It does sound like, for at least the next little while, sticking only to sexual activities where you feel comfortable with what risks, if any, are present, is the way to go. For instance, it might make sense to stick to staying clothed, just so you have the reassurance of their always being a barrier present.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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