Ruining my relationship

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Wanjiee
not a newbie
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat Nov 04, 2023 3:12 pm
Age: 21
Pronouns: She
Location: Kenya

Ruining my relationship

Unread post by Wanjiee »

Sorry for the long post scarleteen.
So about 2weeks ago I said to myself I'm in a healthy relationship, the first relationship I've spoken up about what's bothering me, even sensitive matters and not be yelled at or given the silence treatment, it's just amazing. The problem is, i think I'm ruining my relationship with him... He has female friends, I'm not comfortable with some... I feel like I'm bothering him most of the time by calling him and asking him whether he's coming over that day or not, when he says no because he's busy or whether he's just hanging out with his buddies, or watching a football game later, i feel so sad and bad, and will later call him at night to ask whether he missed me, or whether he loves me...
Honestly I sound like the pick me girl shera talks about... Thing is I can't help it... I don't have hobbies, I'm trying to become my own self but I feel like all those things are pushing him away. I talked to him about feeling like I'm pushing him away but he says that I'm not, but i feel like I'm pushing him away and he's finding me uninteresting because I'm all over his business way too much.
Also I think he's nonchalant because he doesn't do the goodmorning baby texts or random i miss you, or I'm dying to see you tonight, yes I've talked to him about it but he says that that's how he is... Even when I'm sick i be expecting him to show up at my place to see me, he doesn't, he just tells me I'll get better. (P.s) He lives 3 minutes from my place.. have i pushed him away already?
CaitlinEve
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 136
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2024 2:54 pm
Age: 23
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Illinois

Re: Ruining my relationship

Unread post by CaitlinEve »

Hello Wanjiee,

I want to start by reassuring you that being jealous is okay and incredibly common. You said this is the first relationship that you've spoken up in and that it is a healthy relationship; if you're not used to that, there can definitely be an adjustment period and it's understandable if you're going through that right now. That does not make you a 'pick-me'!

That being said, communication is absolutely key. If you're worrying about his feelings and whether or not you are pushing him away, I would suggest sitting down and talking through all of this with him. Here is an article that you may find helpful in helping you two communicate.
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