Feeling exhausted and anxious in my relationship

[mrdeepside]

Hiya! I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years. In December, I moved in with my girlfriend. I moved out when I became unemployed, in an emergency situation due to an emotional abusive situation with my mother. But I feel completely exhausted now - I can't be as affectionate and intimate anymore with my gf, physically and emotionally. I feel like I'm missing out on life, because she almost never wants to go out (and when we do make plans, she usually cancels the next day). We also have some different views on our routine, which makes me very worried. And all of this has been making me anxious - I've already resolved part of that problem with my mother, and I'm about to move back in with her.

I also have constant thoughts about how I could enjoy my single life, since, before her, I've only been in a relationship (without a commitment) with one person. I love her so much and I know she loves me very much and is already taking some risks to be with me, but this whole situation is exhausting me. It seems like everything has become monotonous and boring, even before all this happened. Could it be because I'm tired of this "new experience" of living together and need some time for myself, or... is it much more than that?

[Ro S]

Hey there mrdeepside and welcome to the boards!

I am sorry to hear that you're feeling emotionally drained. It sounds to me like you went through some stressful times having lost your job and then went through a substantial change moving in with your girlfriend. I want to offer that when we're feeling overwhelmed or stressed in general, those feelings are most likely also going to impact our connections and color how we view our relationships. Having said that, I think it is also important to consider if the relationships we're in contribute to stress in our daily lives and if there's anything we need in our relationships that we're not getting. Does that make sense?

I'm curious about this feeling of you're describing as "missing out". What do you think would be enjoyable about being single versus being in a relationship? Aside from going out more, is there anything that you're wanting that you're not getting in your relationship?