How to stop feeling turned on so often

[Seraph]

I believe that I feel turned on/horny quite often (at home, at work, and even when im in class). Ive always hated feeling like this, I feel gross and creepy whenever I do. I've noticed that I feel the worse whenever im on a vacation or away from home for multiple days in a row. I usually get pretty horny after not masturbating for a few days and it makes me really uncomfortable. Is this an issue? And is there a way to stop feeling horny so often? Alternatively, do you have any advice for 'turning youself off' whenever I feel turned on?

[Latha]

Hi there, Seraph

I can see how it would be frustrating to feel aroused when in public, or when you're in the middle of another activity. But feeling aroused when you do not actually want sex, or having sexual thoughts when you are not in private, are things that happen to many people. You are not gross or creepy for having a simple reaction.

Generally, arousal isn't a feeling that can be turned on or off like a switch. If I had any advice for managing it, it would be to acknowledge the feelings without judging yourself for them and redirect your focus to another activity. Something that really engages your focus might help. Equally, you could try something physical and sensory, like taking a bath or exercising.

I'd like to share two pieces of ours that might shed some light here:

• Feeling Good When You're Feeling Bad: Dealing with Unwanted or Confusing Sexual Arousal

• How do I make these erections stop!?!

You've mentioned that you feel most bothered when you haven't masturbated for a few days. If I may ask, would it be a problem to find some time to address that feeling directly by having sex? (That can be with someone else or on your own.)