How can I sit on my partner without sitting in a w-shape?

[blanketghost]

Basically what the question says. I enjoy sitting on top of my partner's lap when he's lying down and I kind of sit on his hip/thigh area, but I noticed when I was doing it the other today that my legs naturally move into a w-shape. The w-shape makes it really easy for me to move around and kiss my partner/his neck, but I have a knee issue that I'm in physiotherapy for, and sitting in that position hurts them after a while. I tried going onto my knees so I was in a crawling shape, but that makes leaning down/forward to kiss him harder and also puts a lot of my body weight onto my knees. I also tried sitting like a frog (I'm not sure how else to describe it) but then I can't really move forward and it just ends up being a weird stretch for my inner thigh. Can anyone give me some advice/direct me towards some resources about other ways I could sit on my partner? It might also be worth noting that my partner has wider hips than I do so even when I tried the crawl shape my legs still made a slight w.

[Anya]

Hi Blanketghost,

Welcome to the boards!

I first want to ask about the context of sitting on your partner's lap. It'll help me understand your situation if I can know if sitting with your partner is a physical intimacy thing, or if this position is one you use during sex and would like help making more comfortable for movement. I just ask becuase if there is more leg/hip movement involved, some of the recommendations or help we can offer might be more or less comfortable than others.

Regardless of the context though, I think one thing that might help you to find the most comfortable positions for you is to notice when youre not in this position, what feels the most comfortable for your knees. If you know what feels the best for your body in other sitting positions it may be easier to translate that to this specific situation. For example, if having your legs stretched out or loosely crossed when sitting is pretty comfortable for you, then maybe having your partner sit up or against something while you're on their lap could be a good option.

Have you ever experimented with using cushions for comfort? There are wedges you can buy for the exact reason of making physical intimacy more comfortable, but using any old pillow or blanket should usually do the trick. If you haven't used pillows or cushions in the past, some easy ways to incorporate them would be by placing two under the knees directly on the surface youre on, in the crease of the knee to increase the space and padding your bent legs have, and under your stomach if your'e bent forward. Whatever ends up working for you the best, taking frequent breaks inbetween positions may also be pretty helpful.

Lastly, letting your partner know that something is painful or uncomfortable is pretty important for them to be able to help you feel comfortable (which they should want), so it may also be worth it to ask them if there are positions or ways that they could shift their position to allow it to fit your needs more. How does all that sound?

[blanketghost]

Those sound pretty good! Currently sitting on my partner's lap is more of a physical intimacy thing, but I have been thinking about potentially using it in sex (but that's more of a background thought as opposed to an immediate concern). And thank you for the idea of having my partner sit up, I think I'll give it a try! I also have not experimented with cushions before but it sounds like a good idea. I'll also make sure to communicate with my partner about it and there's a good chance he'll also have some good ideas.

[Sam W]

Hi blanketghost,

I'm glad Anya's suggestions sound like things you can try! Hopefully you and your partner are able to find some ways to keep a position you enjoy as one that's also comfortable for you.