orgasms aren't good anymore

[cy]

getting to be a frequent poster on here lol... anyways slapped some search queries in and didn't see much about this so.

when masturbating recently my orgasms aren't really the same as they were. now it's hard to build up to them and when i have one it feels more like a shotgun blast than anything. there for a split second and then gone.

im not entirely sure what it is i did. am i doing it too much? is there such thing as doing it too much? what should I do?

[Ro S]

Hi Cy,

Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us. I see from your other posts that you've been doing a lot of self exploration and discovery lately. I just want to say being in that space is almost never straightforward but we appreciate you taking in our advice and continuing to explore what resonates and feels good for you!

First, I want to normalize your experience of finding a difference in sensation with orgasms. It is a very normal experience to have certain times when orgasms feel different or simply aren't as satisfying as they were in the past. To answer you questions, no, I don't think there is such a thing as doing too much. However, I would like to know a bit more about your experience to help me understand how I can provide you with some advice. You ok with that?

Are you feeling aroused prior to or during masturbation? Would you say that you're feeling at ease in your body during masturbation?

[cy]

"Are you feeling aroused prior to or during masturbation? Would you say that you're feeling at ease in your body during masturbation?"

sorry for the late ass reply lol. i would say its been marginally more difficult to get aroused recently... though that might be because of some recent mental health problems that came and went.

the second question? at first, yes. then flash-forward to now, where i find its hard not to find myself incredibly tense. there are points, usually about 60% of the time, that i realize I'm not breathing either.

[Heather]

Hello, cy.

So, all of these things -- having a hard time getting aroused, having mental health struggles or changes, tension -- will certain contribute to having different experiences with orgasm and orgasms that are different than when these things were not in the mix.

I'd also add that, especially over time, the orgasms that tend to pack the biggest wallop often tend to happen to people when the larger experience they are part of is also "bigger," for lack of a better term. I'm talking about things like the leadup to sexual activity and orgasm taking longer and feeling more intense, all of the pleasure that comes before an orgasm being particularly high key, things like something bringing a lot of newness to the table, and the person experiencing the experience being very plugged into it and highly present. But, perhaps obviously, we can't always control for or create that kind of situation, especially if other things create hurdles or barriers to that, like depression or anxiety, for instance.