Need help for our first time!

Brand-new? This is the place for your questions and discussions on any and all topics, with fellow users or staff, while you get your feet wet.
Assplay90
not a newbie
Posts: 10
Joined: Sat May 16, 2015 7:34 pm
Age: 34
Awesomeness Quotient: Butt
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Her
Sexual identity: Explorer
Location: San Francisco, CA

Need help for our first time!

Unread post by Assplay90 »

My partner and I want to try anal intercourse. I'm scared because that's where I poop and I don't want any embarrassing moments. How can I be sure it's clean down there and how can I prep and loosen my butt so my partner can go in easily. What positions can I be in so its comfortable for me and my partner? Do I need a condom if penis is not going into vagina?

Thanks for the help!
Karyn
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 1407
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:00 pm
Age: 40
Awesomeness Quotient: I collect condoms.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Canada

Re: Need help for our first time!

Unread post by Karyn »

Check it out:

Anal Sex Lowdown
Anal Sex, Spermicides, Lube and the Best Expert of All

If you've never tried any kind of anal play before, it's a good idea to start slow and work your way up gradually. Figure out whether you like the sensation of having your anus touched or one finger inside before you move on to anything else, and stop if you're having any pain or discomfort.

Per the need to use a condom, it's always advised regardless of people's STI status because there are some bacteria in the rectum that can result in infection if they end up elsewhere in the body. There is also a slight pregnancy risk from anal sex, so a condom is a good idea in that regard as well. Using lube is extra-important, because the anus and rectum aren't self-lubricating like the vagina is, and it's delicate tissue, so lube helps keep things comfortable for everyone. There's no need to clean anything out beforehand; feces aren't stored in the rectum but further up in the intestine, but it's possible that there will be traces of fecal matter, in the same way that pre-ejaculate or vaginal lubrication is there during other kinds of sex. It's just part of having a body.

In terms of positions, it really depends on what's most comfortable for the two of you, just like with any other kind of sex. It might take a bit of trial and error to figure out what works best for your unique bodies.
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
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