STI Questions!

[dpaddict12]

Hello! (Warning, this is kind of gross)

I thought I kind of understood how STI's work, but something scary occurred to me today - I was diagnosed with oral herpes a few years back (cold sores, yuck). I did some embarrassing things, and remember several times when I touched a cold sore (which at the time had fluid and blood coming from it) and then immediately fingered myself and touched my vaginal area. It had occurred to me before that I could have transferred my oral herpes to genital herpes, but never took it seriously. Since then I have engaged in oral sex both ways with one partner, and was fingered by another. I don't believe I had any open sores, but I could be wrong. Now I'm worried that I may have transferred the herpes to either of my partners. Is that sound?

Also, I heard that when you do have genital herpes, it can be transferred through vaginal secretions. I have an excessive amount of vaginal discharge to where it sometimes goes through my leggings, pants, etc. If I am dancing with someone or rub up against somebody with clothing that has discharge soaked in it, am I putting that person at risk? Sorry for the weird questions, but I'm pretty concerned about it.

Thanks!

[Amanda]

Hi dpaddict!

Welcome to the Scarleteen message boards! It sounds to me like step one for you should be making an appointment with your regular doctor or finding a health clinic in your area where you can get screened for STIs, including genital herpes (they may not run the blood test since you have already been diagnosed with oral herpes, but if you have any bumps or sores they can check those out). When you are sexually active with multiple partners, it's ideal to get screened every 3-6 months.

It is entirely possible that you could have spread the virus to your genitals. Even if you have not had an outbreak, you could still be infected with the virus and could still potentially pass it on to partners. Most people with genital herpes don't actually know they have it since they may not have symptoms, or they may be very mild.

The virus can be transferred through vaginal secretions, although transmission would be near impossible unless there was skin-to-skin contact. So no need to worry there. But regarding sexual activity and actual skin-to-skin contact, there are medications available that shorten the duration of outbreaks and decrease the likelihood of passing the virus to partners.

Hope this helps! And no need to apologize about your questions-- we're happy to help and it's great that you're seeking answers. More people should!

[Amanda]

Also, here's some more info on herpes if you want to read up on it!
The STI Files: Herpes

On herpes stigma: This is About Genital Herpes

On safer sex: HPV & Herpes: Why Safer Sex Isn't Always Safe Enough

[dpaddict12]

Hey guys! So I'm back. So, I confirmed with my older doctors and through a test from Planned Parenthood last week that I had neither HSV1 or 2 (yay!). However, I found out that the guy I made out with and shared drinks with has HSV1. I immediately within about 48 hours of kissing him developed tingling and itching around the lips and some red spots that look like the start of a cold sore. (Darn). I have a couple questions - I took a shower this morning before I knew he had HSV1 and wiped the area that the cold sore was forming in (the red and itchy/tingly spots) and then immediately vigorously and deeply (sorry that's gross) wiped my genitals. I read that when you first contract HSV1 it is super easy to pass it to your genitals during that time period. I also applied makeup after I knew he had the HSV1 and used a brush over the cold sore and the rest of my face. Everyone I have spoken to is freaking me out and telling me I absolutely have to wash my hands if I touch the cold sore or anything I touched after the cold sore. I'm not sure what to do because I am terrified now of touching my dishes or laundry or my face when it itches because they said its so likely to pass it on and I feel like I'm going crazy. I can't believe I didn't have it and NOW I probably do. What should I do until I can get a test?

I also feel my eyes burning and have had some heavy cold symptoms. I did touch my eyes directly after touching the cold sore. What should I do to keep from sharing the virus without losing my mind? I feel like it is irresponsible to not worry about it since the symptoms are all there, the more for transmission was in place, and he told me he is HSV1 positive.

Sorry for all the questions,
Thanks!

[Sam W]

Hi dpaddict,

The first thing I'd say is talk to a healthcare provider about HSV1 on the precautions you need to take in order to avoid passing it anywhere you don't want it. That will help you sort out the myths from the actual things you need to concern yourself with (herpes is one of those things where there's a lot of misinformation floating around). I think this piece Heather wrote might also help, since it addresses some of the myths and truths around oral herpes:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... out_herpes

[dpaddict12]

Hey Sam! Thanks, that article helped to calm me down. I think what's making this so bad is that I did something against my better judgement that resulted in this happening. I keep forgetting that that doesn't change the relatively harmless nature of herpes. I spoke with a nurse from Planned Parenthood, and they told me I needed to throw away my makeup and keep everything super sterile and immediately wash my hands after accidentally getting any saliva or coldsore material on my hands. However, that's not exactly realistic. There are a lot of situations where I may accidentally spit when I speak (I sometimes have a bit of a lisp and spitting on people and myself is actually quite a problem, awkward, I know) and I can't always go wash my hands right away. I also can't be cloroxing the apartment every time a friend wants to come over. Do you know any good sources that could give me a better idea of what's really a risk and what's not?

Thanks!

[Sam W]

I'm glad the article helped! Calling PP was a smart move to find out what to do. As far as washing your hands, something that might work is to keep a small packet of wet wipes with you in case your touch your mouth somewhere where washing your hands is not an option. Too, if you're wondering about super specific details, calling your general doctor and asking them your questions would be another good option.