Orgasm

[katj456]

How do you know if you orgasmed or if it just didn't feel right and you needed to stop?

[Heather]

This is one of those things people will tend to need time to sort out, based on what we observe from our sexual responses.

On the whole, orgasm tends to feel like a peak of something very good in a physical way, like, for instance, how we can feel physically when we've been moving around a lot and we get a jolt of endorphins and feel our muscles kind of sing, if you can follow that. Mind, how orgasm feels for one person isn't often the same from day to day: sometimes orgasm can feel very intense and super-obvious, while other times it's so mild and small we can almost miss that it's happened. Orgasm also doesn't feel the same way for everyone: the many ways our bodies can be different make it so orgasm can feel pretty different from person to person.

If and when things don't feel right, physically, that's usually not about orgasm having occurred, it's about things not feeling good, and if things aren't feeling good, orgasm isn't likely to happen. Some people feel very emotionally or psychologically uncomfortable with sexual arousal or orgasm, and that can influence how "right" someone feels when they're getting close to or having a climax, though.

Can I ask, though, why this is something you're asking? I'm asking because often, when people are, it's because they feel like they have to be able to report this to partners (we don't), like orgasm is what proves a sexual life or experience is good (it doesn't), or because things aren't actually feeling that great, but they feel like orgasm would change that radically (probably not).