To Deen or not to Deen?

[sexpositivity94]

Hello Scarleteen!

Fast facts:

Genie is my name
Cis girl
21
College student
"Virgin", even though I don't really subscribe to that construct.

My question has me super conflicted. I watch porn. I used to watched all free porn, but when I discovered Feminism, I stopped doing that because it just didn't feel right anymore. Now I watch pay-per-minute or subscription based porn- largely queer/lgbt/feminist porn. I would describe 90% of the porn I watch as feminist. I could go on about how its done wonders for my sex life (with myself) or how I feel watching it or how I analyze it for its feminist themes. But i won't. Ill get to the question.

One of the performers I watch sometimes is James Deen. Not all of his porn is feminist- a lot of it isn't, but he's my 'guilty pleasure' of sorts. He is holding an open submission to do a scene with him. Women can submit applications to film a scene (porn, of course) with him. Many are chosen, so there is more than one chance.

I have to admit, I have thought about submitting. But I have sooooo much doubt. I think it would be fun. I think it would be even more interesting if it is my first sexual experience with someone else. I am sure the operation he is running is more than reputable. I think it would be amazing to have this type of experience with someone I've watched and fantasized about. But, it is porn.

I have NO problem with porn or any other type of sex work. The problem is with the outside world. I am a college student, I plan on applying to either grad school for my Phd or Law school. I foresee a future in activism (working with women's rights & other marginalized groups). I would love to work in affirming, inclusive, queer, feminist spaces that are accepting of people who do sex work, etc. But, of course, I can't guarantee anything. I of course know the risks of doing porn and the possible consequences it could have on future job prospects if anyone was to find out (which is a possibility). As I am typing this I have more and more doubt. Of course, there's a little voice inside me (ok, not so little) that says not to care about what anyone else thinks, but life is not that simple. It could have real consequences and I don't know which voice to listen to.

This is a relatively minor problem and I know you will not be able to give me a definitive answer, I would just like your opinions and thoughts about this 'predicament'. Any perspective that I did not touch upon that you can share would be greatly appreciated.

I know this was suuuuuuuuuuper long. So many thoughts. Thank you all!

- Genie

[Carmen]

Genie,

These are all such interesting and applicable thoughts. I understand where all your different ideas and points are coming from and I think I would have the same ideas too if I were in your position.
If you ended up doing it and then a future employer, boss, peer, etc asked you about it, what do you think you would tell them? It might be interesting to think about how you would articulate and reason your choice to do it - because it 100% is your choice! And a lot of people may not think to think about it in any perspective other than their own. It may also help to identify and then validate and/or question the reasons you have for doing it or not

[Heather]

Just FYI for you: this actor has - and like Kitty, I am not surprised either, especially when he's frequently said things like this: https://twitter.com/jamesdeen/status/18 ... 12?lang=en - has been associated with engaging in more than one sexual assault at this point: https://medium.com/@kittystryker/when-f ... .hnphal7bu

Kitty also has some very smart things to say about "feminist" porn and being smart about men with power, including in sex work (an industry where cismen still really have all the power and influence) who brand themselves as feminists, so I'd suggest having a read.

(I'm locking this now, btw, both because decisions about doing sex work or not really aren't something right for our space, but also because discussing the merits of choosing to answer a cattle call for someone associated with assaulting people and making light of assault isn't something I want active here.)