misc questions that've been bugging me

[i<3cacti]

i'm sexually attracted to quite a few girls at my school(2 teachers, even) and i've been wondering: are these feelings normal/healthy? i wouldn't have a question if it was just my peers, but the teacher part is bugging me.

i use porn a lot, and i've been wondering if using it regularly is healthy. also what goes into making it? is it all drugs/manipulation like my parents told me when they caught me using it or is it a legitimate industry?

i mentioned i'm sexually attracted to the girls/women at my school, i'm romantically and sexually attracted to one of them. i'm not sure they share those feelings, whats a good way of finding out while minimizing the hurt(and maybe even risk?) of rejection? is it best to be low key about it or just ask the question straight up?

[Sam W]

Hi i<3cacti,

As far as having romantic or sexual feelings for people, that's pretty normal (even the crushes on the teachers. That's not at all uncommon for young people, and is totally fine as long as the relationship does not develop beyond a crush). With porn, there's nothing inherently unhealthy about watching and enjoying people having sex on camera. The porn industry, especially the big companies, does have issues in terms of how they present sex (like how consent is, or often isn't shown). My caution would be to remember that the sex you see in porn is staged for the camera. It might be fun to watch, but it's not likely to resemble the sex most people have. Does that make sense?

With asking people out, the straight forward approach is usually the quickest and easiest way. Be clear and direct about your interest, and if the person shares your feelings, hooray! If not, be polite and relaxed about being turned down (it stings, but it's not the end of the world).