Am I pregnant? Please help!

[sg1994]

Please, help! I'm on birth control since I was 16, I'm now 22 and on top of that last night when we had sex, my partner used a condom. It didn't slip and since it would be pretty obvious if it had broke, it didn't. I had to pee right after having sex and I noticed my urine was a bit oily but I didn't think much about it. Today, when I peed again, my urine not only was oily but also had some white particles floating around, like mucus or something like that which made me freak out. Is it sperm? How can it be? Is it possible it had slipped from the condom or something like that?
I started my sex life recently. It hasn't been easy 'cause every time something that I'm not familiar with happens, I always think I might risk getting pregnant. I take the pill every day at the same hour (last night I took 20 minutes later but I don't think that's a problem) and I know we were safe but my brain doesn't give me a rest and I can't help freaking out about this since the first thing that came up on google when I typed oily urine was "oily urine pregnant"!!
Also, because I take BC every day at the same, at the exact same hour and haven't been on antibiotics or anything that might influence its efficacy, do you think I should take Plan B if the condom broke? Please help me!

[Heather]

We can't be a pregnancy test, so we can never answer, "Am I pregnant?" for someone. The only way for anyone to find that out and get that answer when they are concerned about pregnancy is by taking a pregnancy test.

When condoms break, it's obvious, as you've made clear you already know. And Plan B doesn't do anything your pill isn't already doing more effectively.

It does sound, though, like you aren't comfortable being sexual the way you have been: if and when it all feels terrifying when our bodies, as bodies do, have variations in how they behave, that's usually a cue that you're doing something you don't feel totally okay with or ready for. And when you're having sex using two methods of contraception properly and are still freaking out, I'd say that's solid evidence that sex that has you freaking, despite that, is clearly not right for you at a given time or in a given situation. So, what I'd suggest is that you take some time to really think about what you feel able to handle, and about what kind of sex, if any, would NOT freak or stress you out, even if and when your body acts like a body and does wacky things sometimes. Whatever kinds that is, then those are the kinds that are going to be sound to consider being part of: whatever kinds feel like they DO scare you or stress you out are the kinds to nix.

[sg1994]

Thank you so much Heather! I went to the doctor today and I have a yeast infection, which explains what happened on Friday. First of all, thank you so much for your words. I never had sex ed in school and, up until now, this wasn't a subject that I knew too much about and I think that's why I freak out when something that I'm not familiar with happens. I spent a few hours reading some of the questions posted on your website and some of the articles as well and they really helped me. It's good to know I can talk with someone about this. Thank you again!

[Heather]

Sure thing.

So, maybe a good plan for you might be to go ahead and spend more time -- as in, months, if not more -- getting more of that education and processing it all, and only once you have had that kind of time and depth, THEN considering being sexual with someone else if you find that's what you want and feel good about?

Trying to kind of do this at the same time is generally a recipe for a pretty constant stream of freakouts, after all, and it's also basically not possible to make informed choices at any given time if we don't have the information BEFORE we make a choice, but only look it up after.

How about letting your partner know you haven't had the education you need to make these choices and figure out what you can deal with, and letting them know you -- like anyone -- really need that time first before you can be sexual with them again?

[sg1994]

I think it would be good too! My partner is really supportive, he says he just wants the best for me so if I need to take some time to learn more about stuff, I'm sure he'll be ok with it. Your work here is amazing, I can't tell you how much I'm grateful for this website! Starting my sex life wasn't something rushed, but maybe I just need a bit more time to figure stuff out.

[Heather]

We all don't have the same circumstances, so we all don't have the same timetable!