Single (and okay with it!) on Valentine's Day

Questions and discussion about sex and sexuality in political or community beliefs, principles, actions, policies, experiences, messages and media.
MusicNerd
not a newbie
Posts: 266
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:02 am
Age: 30
Awesomeness Quotient: my creativity
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/they
Sexual identity: queer
Location: USA

Single (and okay with it!) on Valentine's Day

Unread post by MusicNerd »

so, roughly a week from now is the infamous holiday about love and romance and whatnot-- but what to do when you're single on this day and everyone around you seems to be making a big fuss about it??

this year, I don't feel as bad about being single around this time even though Valentine's Day's right around the corner-- which is a success in my book! :) so, I'm curious to see what other folks who are single on this day are planning on doing to celebrate/have fun/live-life-despite-Hallmark-telling-us-there's-only-one-way-to-be-on-this-holiday. :P

for me personally, later this week i'm planning on going to a fun Bob's Burgers-themed party with one of my friends, and then the day before Valentine's Day I'm going to go volunteer with some friends to help package books to send to prisoners in my city. both of those things I'm really looking forward to! :D idk exactly what i'm doing on the day of, but I'm sure it'll involve eating lots of chocolate ice cream ('cause Ben & Jerry's is kinda one of my favorite things and it's been a while since I've had any), and something in my city will probably crop up that I'll do with friends. or I'll just chill by myself by wandering around the city/turning up to the new Beyoncé track "Formation" on repeat. who knows? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

so, single peeps: what're you doing during this time leading up to V-Day/on the day of?
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
al
not a newbie
Posts: 390
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:17 pm
Age: 31
Awesomeness Quotient: I make zines!
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Colorado

Re: Single (and okay with it!) on Valentine's Day

Unread post by al »

Hi MusicNerd!

I just wanted to stop by and say that it is so awesome that you are finding ways to have fun on your own and not feel bad about being single (because there isn't anything to feel bad about!). It is absolutely a good thing that you're feeling better about this Valentine's Day as compared to previously. Your plans for this week sound really cool - I love that you're taking the opportunity to do things that you like as well as give back to the community. Also, that Bob's Burgers party sounds sweet. :)
In terms of other ideas, a single friend of mine has a tradition that I think is pretty great - she always finds some time to make herself a few valentines. She'll put on her favorite movie and eat some ice cream while she does it. The valentines remind her of her good qualities and things she has to be proud of, and she decorates them to make them all look very cute. And then she'll tuck them in between the pages of her calendar or her notebook for her to find later on in the year - a little surprise self-love! I think it's lovely.
An unfortunate thing about the messages surrounding V Day is that they sometimes put pressure on people to find a partner ASAP or can imply that being single is a lonely and awful experience. But it seems like you're doing a great job of not letting them make you feel bad about yourself. You, with or without a partner, are awesome. On Valentine's Day and any other day of the year. :)
Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, only in contradiction to what we know of it. -Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully
MusicNerd
not a newbie
Posts: 266
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:02 am
Age: 30
Awesomeness Quotient: my creativity
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/they
Sexual identity: queer
Location: USA

Re: Single (and okay with it!) on Valentine's Day

Unread post by MusicNerd »

hi al, thanks so much! haha :) i also just remembered that i'm going with a friend to a tattoo convention this weekend as well, so that'll also be fun. i've basically got a jam-packed weekend ahead of me! still need to figure out what to do on V-Day, but i might take you up on your friend's idea and make those valentines to myself-- that sounds really sweet and awesome. :)

also, this is really sweet of you:
al wrote:An unfortunate thing about the messages surrounding V Day is that they sometimes put pressure on people to find a partner ASAP or can imply that being single is a lonely and awful experience. But it seems like you're doing a great job of not letting them make you feel bad about yourself. You, with or without a partner, are awesome. On Valentine's Day and any other day of the year. :)
it sounds silly of me to say this, but: I really needed to hear this, especially the part in bold, so thanks. :)
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
Redskies
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 1281
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 11:33 am
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/them or she/her
Sexual identity: bisexual/queer/pansexual
Location: Europe

Re: Single (and okay with it!) on Valentine's Day

Unread post by Redskies »

I don't really belong in this thread - so pardon me and I'll take myself right back out of it! - but wanted to stop by briefly to say that partnered or single, I've never marked or recognised valentine's day in any way. It just doesn't mean anything to me personally. So, that's a possible option too!

If I did mark the day, I think the plans and traditions you've both discussed so far are among the best I've heard :)
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.
MusicNerd
not a newbie
Posts: 266
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:02 am
Age: 30
Awesomeness Quotient: my creativity
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/they
Sexual identity: queer
Location: USA

Re: Single (and okay with it!) on Valentine's Day

Unread post by MusicNerd »

hey Redskies! nope, no worries! it's always nice hearing from you :)

yeah, that's definitely another valid option! it probably wouldn't register much on my radar either if it wasn't something that people all over my university's campus made a big stink of-- but unfortunately they do. lol hence why I've found alternate ways to chill around this time :P
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic