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Protection?

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
lingerings
newbie
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Protection?

Unread post by lingerings »

So basically I would like to have sex with my boyfriend and it would be both of our first times so obviously I'm worried about protection and or the chance of getting pregnant which I defiantly do not want at 15. We've both talked about having sex and I've brought up condoms and I'm unsure if I should supply them or if he should? I don't really know how it works. I know birth control is also a thing, but am also unsure how I go about getting on some form and how it works exactly, like how do I bring it up to my mom or doctor?
Kristy
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Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands

Re: Protection?

Unread post by Kristy »

First off, good for you and your boyfriend that you are talking through this and planning for safer sex.
As for who provides the condoms, that's a conversation for you and your boyfriend. No one system works for everyone; some couples agree that the man buys the condoms, others agree that they split the cost/supply, still others decide that the boyfriend buys male condoms and the girlfriend buys female condoms. Whatever decision the two of you come up with has to work for both of you.
As for birth control, it's all about which type you feel fits best with your life and your preferences. A good starting point is this article: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexua ... trol_bingo
You should definitely bring up the subject with your doctor, but it doesn't have to be a big speech or admission: simply "I'm thinking of becoming sexually active and I want to know what my options are for birth control" or "I'm thinking of starting sex, I did some research, and I think ____ birth control would be right for me. How can I get that?" (something along those lines). Your doctor may ask you some questions, but in general he/she should be professional and give you any information or prescription you may need.
As for your mom, if you feel comfortable bringing it up, that's great; if not, that decision is up to you. If you do bring it up, you might want to emphasize that you've been thinking about this a lot and you've done some research, which would show her that you are not taking this decision lightly and you're being safe,which is often helpful to soothe parental worries. Make sure you're also ready to answer any questions she might have about your decision process, and what details you personally feel are too private to share with her, so you don't feel caught off guard in the moment.
Good luck!
Karyn
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Re: Protection?

Unread post by Karyn »

Kristy has some great advice, but we have a couple of other pieces you might want to look at as well. This one is a great checklist to go through as you think about all the things involved in getting ready to have sex:
Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

And this one is a primer on communicating with sexual partners (like about who buys condoms/birth control, what each of you wants to do/doesn't want to do, etc.): Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
lingerings
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2017 11:09 pm
Age: 22
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Location: USA

Re: Protection?

Unread post by lingerings »

Thanks for the answers I've looked through some of those articles! One more question though would one form of birth control be enough? Like either just the pill which I think might be a good idea for me, or just condoms? Or is having both the best idea? Or is one good enough?
Siân
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Re: Protection?

Unread post by Siân »

Hey lingerings :)

Many people use one form of birth control, and used correctly the condoms and the pill each have over 98% effectiveness. What's more relevant though is how good they are with 'typical use' (because no matter how careful we are, we arent perfect!) which for the combined pill is 91% and for condoms is 86%.

No birth control is absolutely 100% effective, but used properly either of the options you've mentioned prevents pregnancy for the vast majority of users. It is also common to 'double up' and use two complimentary methods of contraception if pregnancy for you would be particularly undesirable or problematic. It sounds like you are worried about pregnancy so maybe you'd like to consider it. There is a great article here on how different options can be combined:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexua ... ol_with_a_
andreus19
not a newbie
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Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:17 am
Age: 26
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Location: NYC

Re: Protection?

Unread post by andreus19 »

lingerings wrote:So basically I would like to have sex with my boyfriend and it would be both of our first times so obviously I'm worried about protection and or the chance of getting pregnant which I defiantly do not want at 15. We've both talked about having sex and I've brought up condoms and I'm unsure if I should supply them or if he should? I don't really know how it works. I know birth control is also a thing, but am also unsure how I go about getting on some form and how it works exactly, like how do I bring it up to my mom or doctor?
It is ok that you are taking care of health, that is most important. Use condoms, they are safest if are used correctly, and since you don't have experiences search for some YouTube videos about that (you will find a lot of videos about using condoms) and maybe some practice using banana before you start with practicing sex.
Alice O
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Re: Protection?

Unread post by Alice O »

I want to jump in to clarify some misinformation.

andreus19 said "use condoms, they are safest if are used correctly."

Below is the correct information about which forms of birth control are most effective at preventing pregnancy:
the IUD and the implant are both over 99% effective in one year of "typical use"
the depo-provera shot is 96% effective in one year of "typical use"
the patch and the vaginal ring are 92% effective in one year of "typical use"
the pill (the combined pill) is 91% effective in one year of "typical use"
the progesterone-only pill is 90% effective in one year of "typical use"
condoms (specifically outside condoms/"male" condoms, as opposed to inside/"female" condoms) are 86% effective in one years of "typical use," as is the sponge.

All of this information is cited from: Birth Control Bingo!, which also lists a few more birth control methods.

Of the nine birth control methods mentioned above, condoms are the only one that both protect against pregnancy and STI risk.

As Kat J. said, one great method is to use two complimentary forms of birth control. The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method says, "You already know that no method of contraception is 100% effective...but did you know that by doubling up and using two methods, with almost any combination you use, you can get mighty close to that 100% with many combos?"

So for example, someone might use both the IUD and outside condoms.
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