Being the other woman

[lovebugts]

Hello all,
So I have been friends with this guy for 4 years, but recently we have hung out.
We've never had sex but we did kiss. The problem is that we both are taken, and we are well aware that it's wrong
However, I did break things off with him as I started to catch feelings, felt jealous, and just hated feeling like chopped liver. The more I hung out with him, the more I caught feelings. He says that he is falling for me, etc. but I just know he will never leave her. He says he understands why I'm breaking it off with him and appreciates me talking about how I feel
I can't help but to get sad that he is no longer in my life.
It sounds so so selfish, but I am just so confused

[lovebugts]

Hello all,
So I have been friends with this guy for 4 years, but recently we have hung out.
We've never had sex but we did kiss. The problem is that we both are taken, and we are well aware that it's wrong
However, I did break things off with him as I started to catch feelings, felt jealous, and just hated feeling like chopped liver. The more I hung out with him, the more I caught feelings. He says that he is falling for me, etc. but I just know he will never leave her. He says he understands why I'm breaking it off with him and appreciates me talking about how I feel
I can't help but to get sad that he is no longer in my life.
It sounds so so selfish, but I am just so confused :

I don't see my significant other often, we don't talk much, we haven't had sex in forever, and we're both pretty much bored. (

[Sam W]

Hi lovebugts,

For what it's worth, it sounds like you actually made a good choice in deciding to end things with this friend. You weren't feeling comfortable with what was happening between you two and didn't want to be strung along by him (or be the person he was cheating on his partner with). Listening to those feelings of discomfort can be really hard sometimes, so it's awesome that you did.

As for being sad, that makes a lot of sense. It sounds like you and he were close, so suddenly ending the connection between the two of you is going to sting. You're missing all of the things about him that you liked, and mourning the end of the relationship you two had. It can help to treat these feelings the way you'd treat any break-up, and we have a ton of advice on how to do that: Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking

With your current significant other, it sounds like you're not super into your relationship. If you're both feeling bored, have you talked about how to fix that? Or are you feeling like you'd rather end that relationship too?

[uncertainself]

Hi lovebugts,

For what it's worth, it sounds like you actually made a good choice in deciding to end things with this friend. You weren't feeling comfortable with what was happening between you two and didn't want to be strung along by him (or be the person he was cheating on his partner with). Listening to those feelings of discomfort can be really hard sometimes, so it's awesome that you did.

As for being sad, that makes a lot of sense. It sounds like you and he were close, so suddenly ending the connection between the two of you is going to sting. You're missing all of the things about him that you liked, and mourning the end of the relationship you two had. It can help to treat these feelings the way you'd treat any break-up, and we have a ton of advice on how to do that: Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking

With your current significant other, it sounds like you're not super into your relationship. If you're both feeling bored, have you talked about how to fix that? Or are you feeling like you'd rather end that relationship too?

Very well said. I agree that she should end her relationship.