Who am I?
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Owen_Fulton
- newbie
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2018 11:41 am
- Age: 20
- Awesomeness Quotient: I'm Gay
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: He/Him
- Sexual identity: gay
- Location: united kingdom
Who am I?
Lets start off by saying hi. I am 14 years old and in need of answers to my questions. I really don't know who I am in terms of gender. I feel major discomfort with my female body and scared to ask anyone cause I feel stupid and embarrassed. I have heard a few terms such as; trans, demiboy, demigirl, dysphoria and others but i'm not sure if i now what they really mean. yes i have looked them up but i'm just really unsure. Am I trans??
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Sam W
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: Who am I?
Hi Owen,
I'm sorry you're feeling such discomfort, and that you've felt like you can't ask anyone about this (though I'm glad you felt comfortable enough here to ask us).
The question "am I trans" is tricky because, for starters, only you can know (and only you get to decide) what gender (or genders) feels right to you. It's also tricky because the term trans is often used as an umbrella term to cover lots of different gender identities, but is also an identity label in and of itself. We define it as applying to people who find that, "The gender people keep insisting on saddling them with is incorrect. They may be binary (men or women), nonbinary (all kinds of things, like genderqueer, genderfluid, genderflux, demi, neutrois, enby, and much, much more), agender, or something else entirely." All those terms can sometimes make it initially tricky to figure out a way of describing yourself. So please, as much as you can, don't feel down on yourself for feeling confusion.
What you're describing in terms of how you feel about your body fits with the definition of gender dysphoria, AKA feeling like the gender you were assigned at birth based on your body is off somehow. And that dysphoria is often an indicator that someone is trans or otherwise gender nonconforming.
When you've read or heard the experiences of other trans people, or descriptions of trans identities, has that resonated with you in any way? Like, have you read something and had a moment of going, "wait, this sounds like me?"
I also suggest you take a few minutes to read these selections from our series for trans readers to see if anything in them helps you out (if you've tried them already and haven't found them helpful, that's okay, we can figure out a way to talk about things that works for you).
Trans Summer School: What's the Deal With Gender?
Trans Summer School: Am I Trans Enough?
I'm sorry you're feeling such discomfort, and that you've felt like you can't ask anyone about this (though I'm glad you felt comfortable enough here to ask us).
The question "am I trans" is tricky because, for starters, only you can know (and only you get to decide) what gender (or genders) feels right to you. It's also tricky because the term trans is often used as an umbrella term to cover lots of different gender identities, but is also an identity label in and of itself. We define it as applying to people who find that, "The gender people keep insisting on saddling them with is incorrect. They may be binary (men or women), nonbinary (all kinds of things, like genderqueer, genderfluid, genderflux, demi, neutrois, enby, and much, much more), agender, or something else entirely." All those terms can sometimes make it initially tricky to figure out a way of describing yourself. So please, as much as you can, don't feel down on yourself for feeling confusion.
What you're describing in terms of how you feel about your body fits with the definition of gender dysphoria, AKA feeling like the gender you were assigned at birth based on your body is off somehow. And that dysphoria is often an indicator that someone is trans or otherwise gender nonconforming.
When you've read or heard the experiences of other trans people, or descriptions of trans identities, has that resonated with you in any way? Like, have you read something and had a moment of going, "wait, this sounds like me?"
I also suggest you take a few minutes to read these selections from our series for trans readers to see if anything in them helps you out (if you've tried them already and haven't found them helpful, that's okay, we can figure out a way to talk about things that works for you).
Trans Summer School: What's the Deal With Gender?
Trans Summer School: Am I Trans Enough?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.