Getting rid of a Fetish

[Anonymous919]

So yh...
I dont really know how to start this but the title might be very obvious and with very obvious i mean it. Ive went inside myslef and im 101% sure i wanna somehow get rid of the fetish. I dont feel discusted by it myself but i feel like if i told anyone i couldnt talk to them anymore im so ashamed of my fetish and it has even afected my life. Ive done things just to please my sexual drive of that fetish and im absolutley ashamed of that. Its the worse thing becaouse you see it everywhere especialy in winter you could imagine what by now...Its lituratly everywhere and always getting horny while walking out of the house throught out the entire day. Pointing out im straight even tho my fetish isnt really atached to a woman yes its a object a thing but if women have it its even better. I hate it i walk around in town lituratly everywhere i look its there in winter and i just cant stand walking around eroused the entire day

My text here is probably a total mess but i hope hwoever reads this understands what im trying to say...

If heard of storys where people got a brain surgery and a tiny part was cut out and after theyr fetish is gone. Im a male and 16yo if thought abt ason as im 18 i wanna see a doctor about it and mabe something like that is possible no matter the costs.

Im worried it will ruin my future when it comes to meeting other women even if that not even a problem right now its just its getting worse and worse. Ive tried thinking it away but it isnt posible its like a thing in my head which just reminds me of what i just saw.

Any help is Greatllyyyy apreciated

[al]

Hi there Anonymous919, and welcome to Scarleteen!

To be entirely honest, I don't know exactly what your fetish is based on the context clues that you've given me. But even without knowing it, I can tell you that you don't deserve to feel ashamed about your own sexuality or the things that turn you on. It seems like you've distinguished between shame/disgust about the fetish itself (which you don't have), and shame about the things that you've done in order to fulfill the sex drive created by that fetish. Again, while not knowing what your fetish is and what you've done, I can tell you that all sorts of people are into all sorts of different things and people, and that there's nothing wrong with sexual fantasy. That's the great thing about thinking about things: it stays inside your head, and there's no need to negotiate relationships, consent, boundaries, health risks, or stigma.

Fetish can cross over into unhealthy/harmful territory if we engage with other people or things in a way that causes damage to others or violates consent, or if it prevents you from living your daily life. From what you've said it seems like this is something that you feel surrounded by, and it does seem to be interfering with your ability to do basic things like leaving your house or walking around town. In that case, talking with a mental health/sexuality professional like a therapist or counselor is usually the best bet - they can help folks work through some of those feelings of guilt and shame, and work on creating new habits or thought patterns that help them bring those thoughts and feelings back down to a manageable level.

You mentioned this story about someone getting brain surgery to 'remove' their fetish. I've never heard of something like that, and if it did happen, I highly doubt that as a legitimate evidence-based medical technique. Our sexual preferences aren't localized in a part of our brains the way that something like balance or speech might be - they're the result of a combination of all of our lived experiences, including things like what kind of homes we grew up in, our relationships, our first sexual experiences, our exposure to sexual content in media, etc. Sexual preferences don't tend to change by abstaining from them or trying to force them to disappear; they're fluid, and they tend to change gradually over time as we experience different things. Again, if you're experiencing sexual thoughts and feelings that are really negatively impacting you, your best bet is to do some work with a therapist to acknowledge them and work on managing them so that they don't feel quite so invasive.

Have you ever tried talking with anyone in real life about these thoughts and feelings? If so, how did it go? If not, would you be open to talking to a trusted adult or mental health professional? We can help you find resources that are accessible to you in your area if you'd like.
I'm glad that you've taken the time to reach out to us - I know it probably wasn't easy to share this, but reaching out is the first step towards connecting and getting the help that you need so that things don't feel like this anymore. You should know that we're here to listen and help however we can.