hepatitis c

[phantomdog]

hi all,

my boyfriend recently got tested for std's and today while we were on the bus he received a call with his results. everything came back negative, but they found antibodies for hepatitis c in his blood and will be calling back tomorrow to schedule an appointment. he lives a very healthy lifestyle, working out daily and eating very little junk food and no meat. right now we're thinking he may have contracted the virus from one of his partners, who used to be addicted to heroin. he said this partner was tested, but i told him that's a vague statement as not all "tests" check for the same diseases. needless to say, he's very worried and feels gross and i'm moderately worried. i don't know too much about hepatitis c (so more information would be appreciated), but i do know it's transmitted through contaminated needles and unprotected sexual activity and affects your liver, potentially to a lethal extent if untreated. i also know it's highly curable, and that even some people can fight off an infection on their own. i will be getting tested on wednesday as part of routine testing and will ask if they can check for hep c as well. i guess i just need some advice for working through this with him and how to prepare if treatment is necessary, for either me or him. thank you!

[Heather]

I want to start by just giving you a few links to some solid info on Hep C, and then we can talk more about this as you'd like. I also want to remind you and your boyfriend, if needed, that illness doesn't make any of us gross. Illness is a part of being human, just like salivating and breathing are.

A good basic fact sheet from the WHO: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-shee ... epatitis-c
This involved FAQ from the CDC is also excellent: https://www.cdc.gov/hepatitis/hcv/cfaq.htm
Some facts about the test: http://www.treatmentactiongroup.org/hcv ... iagnostics

Let us know where you'd like to take this from here. <3

[phantomdog]

thank you for those, i learned a lot and shared some of the info with him. he seems less stressed and we're now working on scheduling a diagnostic quantitative test for him to take. i had bloodwork done yesterday for hiv, syphilis and hep c as well as a urine test for chlamydia and gonorrhea, just as parts of routine testing and my results will be ready next friday. if either of us test positive for hepatitis c, how do we deal with that? like as a couple

[Sam W]

Hi phantomdog,

Glad the info was helpful and that he's feeling less stressed! It also sounds like you two are being really proactive about you getting tested and him getting the follow-up test he needs, which is awesome.

If one of you tests positive, they can talk to the healthcare provider about what course of treatment they recommend and get started on that. They should also ask if there are any activities you two need to steer clear of during treatment. In terms of avoiding transmission, the big one is you'll want to use barriers like condoms and latex gloves (for manual sex). This article has a list of other precautions, most of which have to do with have to do with taking care to avoid contact with blood: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexu ... _hepatitis.

[Heather]

I also think that how you deal with this is going to be something ongoing, and have a lot to do with how Hep C winds up impacting either of your lives at any given time. For some people with it, it's not that big a deal most of the time, but for others, it can be really debilitating at times.

In terms of you getting it from him, if you have, do you want to talk about some of your feelings about that? I think it's probably less helpful to do that in the abstract as it might be when you get a diagnosis (again, if you even do), but if you want to talk some of those out so you can try on addressing them with someone else some before you do with him, we can certainly do that with you.

We can also talk a little about what it's like to be in a relationship when one or both people are dealign with illness in some general ways, if you like.

[phantomdog]

hi again,

things are kind of at a standstill now. the place did call back but only to have him complete a survey, and no followup appointments were scheduled like they said it would be. i've been urging him to call back and get a diagnostic test appointment but he just gets stressed out and says he will and never does. i keep telling him it's better to have one stressful appointment and find out for good than stress about it in chronically. i just don't know how to push him to make this appointment without being mean. do i make it for him? i'm not sure what to do at this point because i don't feel like hearing the same "i will" just to placate me

[Heather]

I think that with something like this, setting a hard limit is the way to go. I think it's perfectly appropriate to say something like, "Hey: I need you to get that healthcare, both because I care about you, but also because this involves my health as well. I deserve to be able to make choices about my sexual and intimate life with all the information possible, certainly including information that I need to determine what kinds of health risks I may be taking."

Really, you're just asking your partner to have some maturity here, and you're also setting a basic limit when it comes to your health. None of that is mean.

I do not think you make the appointment for him: you're his partner, not his parent, you know? He needs to do this himself. I also think trying to talk him into it isn't the way to go. I think the way to go is just to set a hard limit with a deadline: you need him to just deal with it and do this, and you need him to have an appointment made somewhere by -- let's say -- next week.

What do you think?

[phantomdog]

thank you, i'll definitely be sure to bring those up assertively!

[Heather]

Just checking in to see how you're doing and how that went for you, phantomdog. <3

[phantomdog]

we had a conversation and he admitted to me having a clinically diagnosed phobia of needles that he's still working around to get the courage to go for more bloodwork, i guess now it's a matter of encouraging him to do so and reminding him it's a 60 second procedure. i'm not too sure how to approach it in a way that's considerate of his phobia because from my perspective i also have a clinically diagnosed phobia of vomiting but i would still take medicine for a disease that could potentially infect and harm him even if getting sick like that were a side effect. i don't know if that's a dismissive thing to say to him though because i know how awful and difficult and grueling overcoming a phobia is, or even doing minor things to operate within the scope of it.

[Siân]

Hi phantomdog,

Ouch, yes I can see how having this phobia would make it feel difficult for your partner. I don't think though that that really changes the basic point that Heather made. This is still important enough that ypu get to set a hard limit. As you say, it's your health too. Has your parnter made an appointment yet?

[phantomdog]

he hasn't, but i didn't exactly tell him "get it done by so and so" because i didn't really know what to say after he told me about the phobia.

[Sam W]

Is there a way you could phrase your feelings around it similarly to how you explained them to us? That you understand how difficult it is to have a phobia, especially one that can be tied to medical care or illness, but that it doesn't, ultimately, change the fact that this appointment is something that he needs to make for the sake of his own health (and yours). It's not dismissive to acknowledge the fact that, while mental illnesses like phobias can be complicated to navigate and live with, part of learning to live with them is figuring out ways to cope with them when they're preventing you from getting other forms of care. Of course, you know him better than we do, so you'll know if there's a way to phrase those thoughts that he'll be most responsive to.

Too, if this is a diagnosed phobia, he may be able to access supports such as therapy that could give him the tools to cope with it at least for the span of the appointment.

[Stephanie]

How about also asking him to call and talk to them? So many times health places deal with this phobia daily, it's something they likely have a protocol of things to try to kelp ease people into the process. It's really so important in terms of understanding where you are at a health standpoint to be able and willing to do any testing we need to in order to know what we need to and move forward with treatments or changes as needed.

[phantomdog]

we had another conversation last night and i told him i'll go with him and that he has until the middle of the month to get an appointment. it's hard to get him to be receptive to things he doesn't want to hear, but i think i got through to him enough that he'll actually do it now. thank you guys : )

[Mo]

I'm glad you were able to have what sounds like a productive conversation! That's great.

[phantomdog]

hi guys,

as an update, we finally went to the health center and got him tested! since the organization he initially got tested with did not give him any mailed, physical results, and we don't even know how we could contact them as they gave no card / other info, he decided to just retest. the throat swab and urine test went fine, but he freaked out a bit during the bloodwork. he bounced back really fast and i'm super proud of him for overcoming his phobia. he will be going in to get his results next friday. either way i'm really proud of him and i'm thinking of something special i can do for him. thank you guys for the support that has helped me finally get his feet into the clinic!

[Sam W]

Hi phantomdog,

You're so welcome, and thanks for the update! Glad to hear that he decided to get the care he needed, and that it ultimately went okay (and that he recovered quickly from the moments where it didn't).