Are teacher/(adult)student relationships normal/ok?

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
blu_envy
not a newbie
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2022 8:59 am
Age: 19
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Thailand

Are teacher/(adult)student relationships normal/ok?

Unread post by blu_envy »

I’m at my last year of high school, so my peers are all around 18 yrs old. We got into the topic of teacher/(of age) student relationships, and I was surprised by how casual people feel about it happening irl? Even the teachers. Am I the odd one out for feeling uncomfortable and concerned about it?

I always thought it was a serious topic that the majority can agree that is extremely harmful to the younger person in the situation due to the direct power imbalance, and nowhere near a laughing matter or gossip like in some teen drama. Yea we see it portrayed in media all the time, but I thought we all thought of it like seeing socially outdated views in an old media- expected for its time but we know it’s wrong.

Has this been a social ‘blind spot’ of mine??
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9725
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Are teacher/(adult)student relationships normal/ok?

Unread post by Heather »

I think that you're right on in recognizing that power imbalances can often be a real issue -- and sometimes can be outright unsafe or harmful for a person with less power or agency than another in a relationship with more -- in relationships with certain disparities. That can be about being a teacher and a student, where the disparity involves a built-in power imbalance in most current frameworks of education, but you're right, sometimes outside that scenario, it can be about other kinds of power imbalances, particularly if someone with more is exploiting them, like with a big age or life experience disparity, or something like one person having human rights another does not.

I also agree with you that sometimes power imbalances, and even exploitation, is romanticized, sexualized or otherwise glamorized and dismissed, and that that's really problematic.

It's hard to say with things like this if it's weird for you or I to think this way or not, but we certainly know that a lot of folks in the world think differently about this, or other things like the importance of consent (and what it truly is and isn't), or of equality in relationships or sexual encounters.

I do want to add that I feel like earnest concern about people is always, always a good thing. There's nothing wrong with being concerned and thoughtful!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post