I just… have trouble waiting until I’m at least 17, even though I know I can’t until then. And I’m always scared that my parents are going to open up my Kindle and see all my books. And I have no trouble with my religion (don’t call me crazy but I’m a Daughter of Lilith, which includes sex magic ((not the reason I joined
![Wink ;)](./images/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif)
Another weird thing is that I can’t sat the word sex outloud or even write it (I love writing books) but I have zero problem reading and imagining it.
I am also a bit too paranoid that my family is going to find out in a way that my own head doesn’t feel safe in their company. Even for just a car ride. They are very open minded and love me whatever happens and would accept me if I told them but I just can bare the thought.
I’m sorry if I write too much or if my thoughts are crazy but I just need guidance. I’m not the type to do anything drastic if I feel depressed/sad and I rarely act on my emotions but I just need a way to sort through my head.