S/A
Forum rules
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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lululover
- newbie
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2023 8:07 pm
- Age: 19
- Pronouns: she/her
- Location: texas
S/A
basically i hung out with a guy i liked after talking for 2 months. Hes in college and im a senior. during the first 5 minutes of our date he started touching me. I didnt tell him to stop. He kept on but he eventually stopped because i didnt cum. 10 minutes later he did it again. This time it hurt. It didnt feel comfortable. I layed there frozen and tears rolled down my cheeks. He didnt see me crying. i fake moaned to make him feel good. I hated every minute of it. I wanted it to feel good but it didnt. He was moving too fast and i wish i said smth but i was too scared because i could tell he wanted me but no in the way i wanted him to want me. He later got mad at me because i didnt want to have sex with him at the movies. i cried and he started yelling at me. i cant look at my body anymore. i cant even clean myself. i just keep getting flashbacks. im traumatized
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Sam W
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: S/A
Hi lululover,
I'm so, so sorry this person chose to do this to you, and that it's left you feeling so down on your body and dealing with flashbacks. Before we get into some of the specifics, I want to make it clear that none of this was your fault; you don't deserve to be pressured into sexual things you don't want, or yelled at for setting boundaries or being upset. Too, I think it's very unlikely that he didn't notice you crying; someone crying, or trying very hard not to cry, looks and reacts very differently from someone who is enjoying themselves, you know?
I do want to check, have you received any other support around this, like from friends or family? Or have you note been able to tell anyone about what happened?
Since it sounds like you're dealing with a few different things right now, what would be the way we could best support you? Is there a particular issue, like the flashbacks or feeling unable to care for yourself, that you'd like to tackle first?
I'm so, so sorry this person chose to do this to you, and that it's left you feeling so down on your body and dealing with flashbacks. Before we get into some of the specifics, I want to make it clear that none of this was your fault; you don't deserve to be pressured into sexual things you don't want, or yelled at for setting boundaries or being upset. Too, I think it's very unlikely that he didn't notice you crying; someone crying, or trying very hard not to cry, looks and reacts very differently from someone who is enjoying themselves, you know?
I do want to check, have you received any other support around this, like from friends or family? Or have you note been able to tell anyone about what happened?
Since it sounds like you're dealing with a few different things right now, what would be the way we could best support you? Is there a particular issue, like the flashbacks or feeling unable to care for yourself, that you'd like to tackle first?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.