Almost 18 and still haven't been able to masturable

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HalfMoonEclipse
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Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2023 3:53 am
Age: 19
Awesomeness Quotient: I do art pretty damn well
Primary language: English
Pronouns: They/ them
Sexual identity: Lesbian
Location: Queensland

Almost 18 and still haven't been able to masturable

Unread post by HalfMoonEclipse »

New user here - decided to sign up after seeing how helpful this has been for other people!

Basically as I said in the title, I've tried pretty much all of the recommended stuff, fingers, showerhead, humping, even an old electric toothbrush (with an unused/ clean head) And for some of it I could definitely *feel* my body reacting but it didn't feel necessarily good or bad? Just rubbing my clit wasn't enough and anything more intense was overwhelming to the point I had to stop, with no inbetween yet.

I will admit to being a chronic overthinker XD so that might have something to do with it - always worrying about if I'm doing something right or why it hasn't worked. Unfortunately no way found to turn my brain off yet.

Mostly what I'm worried about is finding a partner and not being able to react properly. The fact I *can't* do it is more what is pushing me to try than any actual desire, I don't really have thoughts like that otherwise.

Maybe the thing to do is just wait until I'm 18 and take a peek in some adult stores for some actual toys, but any advice in the meantime is welcome!

-Eclipse
Sofi
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Location: USA

Re: Almost 18 and still haven't been able to masturable

Unread post by Sofi »

Hi Eclipse, welcome to the boards! Glad you found us.
I gotta say, I relate to what you're saying as I went through a very similar experience up until my early 20s. It can be frustrating, but I actually found that when I stopped overthinking and trying and worrying about it, I found what worked. Everyone is different, so there's really no right or wrong way to masturbate (in a pleasurable way), but it's good that you've tried different things! As much as household items and DIY toys work for most people, sometimes a toy that's *made for that* works better for some people, so perhaps taking a little break from your quest and buying one when you turn 18 is a good idea.

There's definitely an element of pressure here - the more you put on yourself, the more anxiety you'll have around it, causing your brain to be elsewhere while you masturbate. Try looking at it like a fun time of exploration and focus on the journey itself. If you haven't already, also try "setting the mood" so you're comfortable - for some people this is having some music on, for some it's lights off or mood lighting or even full lights, whatever is most sensory-friendly to help you relax. Having music, for example, can give your mind something to distract it to so you might not be overthinking as much; likewise having lights on or a mood lighting could give you something to visually focus on.
HalfMoonEclipse
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2023 3:53 am
Age: 19
Awesomeness Quotient: I do art pretty damn well
Primary language: English
Pronouns: They/ them
Sexual identity: Lesbian
Location: Queensland

Re: Almost 18 and still haven't been able to masturable

Unread post by HalfMoonEclipse »

Thanks Sofi, taking a break really seems like it'll be the best option. At this point I'm just stressing myself out too much to actually do anything. I'll definitely try out the mood thing then though.

Thanks again,
-Eclipse
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