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Scared of pregnancy

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tryingmybest20
not a newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2023 2:15 am
Age: 22
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Lahore

Scared of pregnancy

Unread post by tryingmybest20 »

Hi everyone! I am very very new to this forum and I apologize if it's not in the right format. I've already found a ton of helpful resources to alleviate my anxiety,but i still cant stop stressing.
I live in Pakistan and sex before marriage is not even discussed. It's absolutely forbidden. Abortions are illegal and it's almost impossible to find a safe ob/gyn.
I feel so so bad for being involved in sexual activity knowing that I don't have a safety net. It's isolating and scary.
I didn't have penetrative sex with the guy I'm casually(pls guys dont judge me) seeing,but he did ejaculate using his own hands,and then touched(inserted his fingers in) me. I'm not scared about the dry humping but the fingers bit has kept me up for so many nights.
This was 5 days ago, and I took two 0.75mg levonorgestrel tablets 12 hours apart. I'm just looking for any sort of reassurance/help i can get in this godforsaken country.
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Scared of pregnancy

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi tryingmybest20,

It sounds like this situation is, understandably, really stressing you out, and I commend you for reaching out for information! It's not always easy to do that when we're scared about something.

In order for pregnancy to be a risk, there has to be direct (with no clothing, at all, covering anyone's genitals) genital-to-genital contact between someone with a penis and someone with a vulva, such as genital intercourse or otherwise rubbing genitals together OR direct contact with ejaculate (semen) and the vulva, vaginal opening or anus.

Theoretically, there can be a risk if someone ejaculates on a hand and then that hand is immediately and deliberately placed in the vaginal canal or rubbed on the vulva. But if there are any stops along the way, like the person touching something else, then there isn't a risk from that either. Does that make sense?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
tryingmybest20
not a newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2023 2:15 am
Age: 22
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Lahore

Re: Scared of pregnancy

Unread post by tryingmybest20 »

I got lost in the moment, but there was a break between the ejaculation and him touching me. It had to be 5-10 minutes, and he didnt have any apparent semen on his hand for that matter.
I've just been obsessing over it and have to live with this for 2 weeks (when i hopefully get my period)
Thank you for reassuring me, and I'm very certain that there wasn't any genital-to-genital contact
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Scared of pregnancy

Unread post by Sam W »

You're very welcome! And from your description, this instance of manual sex does not pose a risk at all.

Given that you're in a situation where you really cannot risk pregnancy even a little bit, do you think you and your partner could talk about scaling back your sexual behavior to things where you feel confident in your knowledge that there's no risk, rather than ones where you're not sure until afterwards whether there was a risk or not?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
tryingmybest20
not a newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2023 2:15 am
Age: 22
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Lahore

Re: Scared of pregnancy

Unread post by tryingmybest20 »

Thank you so much for being so helpful Sam!!
And yeah, I'm going to take a break from sexual activity till I really feel comfortable and educated on what is and isn't safe!! It was reckless on my part to let it happen and I don't want to go through this again
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Scared of pregnancy

Unread post by Sam W »

You're very welcome, and I'm glad talking here was helpful!
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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