Is this dangerous?

[Artistic_doggo]

I'm 16 ftm and have been dating this guy for a couple months, he knows I like being choked, we were making out yesterday and he started choking me which turned me on a lot, he started doing it harder and I couldn't breathe, but it got me turned on even more but after a bit I had to tap out and he apologized and kissed my neck all over, I've read about breath play and about how it's dangerous of its too hard but at the same time I think I wanna be choked out until I pass out, is that a messed up thing to want? Also the sides right under my chin's a bit sore but he didn't press there, so I think it's just from leaning over my computer.

[Jacob]

Hi Artistic_Doggo,

Unfortunately there is really no safe way to asphyxiate even if there's no immediate harm felt, there's also the long term risk of brain damage from repeated oxygen starving your brain.

So I can't really recommend any of this! However it's definitely not messed up to have wanted it and to have enjoyed it! But if you're looking for safe ways to enjoy similar feelings it's best to workout what exactly about it you like and figure out if there are other ways you could experiment with those.

Have you read our piece about it?

See here: Breathe: Risks, Realities, and Safer Alternatives to Choking and Breath Play

We have plenty of suggestions there!

[Heather]

I just want to make sure it’s clear, and that you make clear to this guy, that what y’all did could have really hurt you in the short or long-term, and it’s really important for your safety that you don’t do that again.

The piece Jacob linked you to, which I wrote with a researcher, offers you a range of safe alternatives. Please pick one or more of those, and also be sure you’re choosing partners who are also dedicated to only doing what’s safe.