Sex and romance

[rinnie_]

Sooo, I'm 21, still a virgin and have never been in a relationship. The thing is, every time a guy tried to so much as talk to me I would flee, and I don’t feel like I really want a relationship, but having no love life makes me feel as if I'm some loser who is far behind. And my sexual life is really bothering me. Like, I enjoy masturbating duh but I can't seem to get two fringers in for the life of me. The thing os I *want* to, but it hurts every time. Am I doomed to be banished from society or am I normal?

[maille]

Hi, rinnie!

It sounds like you are balancing two conflicting thoughts, one saying you do not want to be in a relationship, and the other saying you do not want to feel left behind. Does that sound right? As I am sure you know, there are no deadlines in life, especially when it comes to the romantic and sexual stuff. It does not sound like anyone has really peaked your interests in a way that you want to pursue. How would it feel to wait to get into a relationship until you found someone who interested you in that way?

As far as masturbating goes, I am glad you are doing some solo exploration. I wonder if you want to go for two fingers because you think it will be pleasurable or, kind of like with the pressure of relationships, you think you are supposed to. There is no mood killer like pain, so I would encourage you to stick to what feels good.

I hope this helps! Feel free to write back with any follow-up!