New relationship.

[Carl]

I started dating a guy I am having some problems. It has been hard for me

[KierC]

Hi Carl, and welcome to the boards! I’m glad you’re here.

I’m sorry that this new experience has been hard for you. What in particular has been difficult? I’d be happy to help.

[Carl]

It’s been 2 dates but it has just moved so fast I dated a couple of girls. This has been so different

[KierC]

Oh, I can definitely appreciate how it’d feel different and hard! Do you want to talk a bit more about what’s been difficult, or anything you’d like help working through with this?

Also, I want to send you this series we have on our website, Hi, Bi Guy!

The articles on dating guys for the first time might be really helpful to read. How does that sound to you?

[Carl]

Yes I will look at that.

[KierC]

Great! Feel free to let me know how those articles resonate with you. I’m here for any questions you might have or any advice you might need. <3

[Carl]

Ok I will. Thank you

[KierC]

You’re welcome! Also, if you want to continue talking about the relationship, I’m happy to talk more. To understand a bit better, are there specific problems you’re having with this guy? How did you meet him?

I also understand it’s going a bit fast for you. What sort of pace would feel right for you, and do you feel comfortable asking for that?

[Carl]

Thank you for being here. I’m sorry I didn’t answer. I just didn’t know how to say that I wasn’t ready for things. I didn’t want to look stupid but now I regret that I didn’t tell him that I wasn’t ready for things

[Carl]

I guess I needed things to go slow. I just didn’t say it

[Carl]

I met him at school.

[KierC]

Hi again! I can appreciate the feeling of not knowing how to say something that’s hard to say, and not wanting to look stupid. I remember we texted about this, but sometimes a reminder can help: it’s not stupid to say you’re not ready! I think it’s actually really wise to know yourself that way.

It sounds like it might’ve been hard to say no in the moment. How would you feel about having a sit-down conversation with him before being intimate again, to discuss boundaries?

[Carl]

Yes I know I have to do that.

[KierC]

<3 I know it can be a bit nerve-wracking too. If it helps, we have this article on our site that goes through how to talk about sex and boundaries: Be A Blabbermouth! The Why’s, What’s, and How’s of Talking about Sex with a Partner. How does that sound to you? Does that article help with planning the conversation, or are you still feeling a bit unsure of how to do that?

[Carl]

Yes that has helped

[amber]

Hi there,
Hope it is ok for me to jump in!

I am glad the article was helpful. I found a few more articles from the site that may resonate as well if you would like.

Whoa, There! How to Slow Down When You're Moving Too Fast
When Sex "Just Happened" (And How to Make It Happen Instead)

Of course, I am happy to chat about them more as well.

[Carl]

Thank you, that has helped. So much of the things they talk about is how I feel and how things have gone.

[amber]

I am glad the article proved helpful to you! If you want to talk any part of them through I'd be happy to help.

I also want to acknowledge how tricky it must be to navigate an experience that you didn't feel ready for. We are here for you to continue talking through anything you would find helpful.