how to masturbait without porn

[Shreklover]

Im not sure whether i have a porn addiction or not, but iv wanted to try masturbaiting or atleast having sex without porn. Currently when i have sex i have to watch porn with my partner. So how do i do so.

[Sofi]

Hi, Shreklover.

You might get pleasure from watching porn and it makes you want to watch it often, and/or has become part of your ritual when it comes to sex (partnered or solo), but that's not the same as an addiction. The good news is, this means you won't have withdrawals or any of the awful things that come with quitting or cutting back on an actual addiction.

That said...can you share a bit more about what you mean when you say you can't have sex without porn - what happens if you try to?

[Shreklover]

Whenever i try im unable to keep being horny. My libido is very irregular and sustaining being horny is even harder

[Latha]

Hi there, Shreklover!

We can try to figure out why it is difficult to sustain arousal, and find ways that might make it easier. I have a few more questions:

• Think about the activities/dynamics/focus you enjoy when you watch pornography. Does the sex you have without porn contain the same elements? Or is it different, in certain ways?

• Have you noticed anything that seems to reduce arousal for you?

• How do you feel about your partner? Do you think you are attracted to them, and compatible sexually?

• Can you identify any emotions or thoughts that come to mind as you start to feel less aroused?

[Shreklover]

1. No it typically doesn't my fetishes are extreme and not shared
2.stress which happens pretty often it kills my ability to focus
3. No not at all we don't have sex often
I would like to focus more on masturbaition
4. Worry extreme worry and anxiety
More on 4: by horny i mean i can get sexually but not stay sexually aroused.
I was masturbait but not enjoy it mentally

[char]

Hi Shreklover! Thanks for answering Latha's questions, it helps us with providing support for you

It sounds like stress is one of the defining factors that's made it difficult for you to masturbate or have partnered sex. Could you identify which areas of your life that's causing you the most stress lately? It could be things that are closer to you--like your family, friends, work, school, home, and the weather--but it could also be something bigger and less in your control, like the current state of the world. Once you've made a note on that, what are your strategies so far to cope or deal with those sources of stress? Do you have non-sexual activities you do to relieve yourself from stress? Being aware of this can help us let you know how you can masturbate more mindfully.

Additionally, have you checked out this article on how to masturbate with curiosity? I think it can answer your questions, too: Take a Self-Love Road Trip: Let Curiosity Guide Your Masturbation