Advice on befriending someone please.

[keszj]

i love this guy so so much. hes a friend of a friend and i find him to be the most interesting person ever each time i talk to him, and we really get on (from my perspective). i dont care about dating him. but i would like to be friends. the one time i messaged him asking to hang out one on one he said no which was crusbing. he later clarified that he has autism and social anxiety and doesnt like hanging out with people one on one especially people he's not yet friends with. im moving back to the same city as him in september and i really want to become his friend but it seems impossible.

[Latha]

Hi there, Keszj,

It is wonderful that you've found a connection with this guy and want to be friends. Just keep one thing in mind: you can't make him want what you want, or solve the struggles he has from anxiety or autism for him. You can only leave the door open for the two of you to become closer, so he can come in if he wants to and is ready.

Does your common friend know that you admire this guy, and would like to spend more time with him? Maybe they can invite both of you to group hangouts that would let you two get to know each other better.

the one time i messaged him asking to hang out one on one he said no which was crusbing. he later clarified that he has autism and social anxiety

If I may ask, why was it crushing? When someone rejects an invitation from you, it doesn't have to mean that you've done something wrong. His no was based on an evaluation of his capacity, not anything about you.