HIV risk?

[Sam W]

Since it sounds like what Carly said is resonating with you, another thing to work on with your therapist would be strategies for sitting with the discomfort or anxiety, or learn ways to let those emotions pass through you without dwelling on them.

What you're describing with your anxiety second guessing your experiences is another pretty common way anxiety can manifest in someone. So, ideally, the more the underlying anxiety is treated, the less that will happen.

[Juliaho90]

Hello, just wanted to drop by and say that I have spoken to a doctor and gotten my health screening done today.

However when I was doing my pee test, I noticed that there were some very tiny white flakes floating around in the pee. They are not stringy, just like white tiny specs and I have no idea what those are. I asked the doctor, and before I could finish my sentence, she smiled and said “white fakes yes?” And said it could be just contamination, but didn’t explain further. i didn’t know what she meant by that. Could it be some form of STI you think? Or a UTI? I have had no symptoms, zero pain, zero itching, no burning sensation or whatsoever. No sex for the past month. Everything feels fine. But I am kind of starting to panic a little. Is that kind of pee normal?

[Sam W]

Hi Juliaho90,

I can't say for certain what the doctor meant, though I wonder if she was referring to their being something on the thing you peed into that caused the flakes (for instance, if it was a cup, a little bit of the lining of the cup could flake off). If you're really worried, you could try calling and asking for further clarification.

I do think that something that would be more helpful to you in the long run is to figure out how to be comfortable with the fact that our bodies, and our bodily functions, experience a lot of day to day variation that isn't a sign of something being wrong. Something that anxiety can do is make us hyper-aware of our bodies, so learning how to tolerate those variations can be an important part of managing that anxiety.

[Juliaho90]

Well the same thing happened to me again when I was using a public restroom at a mall yesterday. I only saw there was a tiny speck of red dot on the toilet seat after I was done, but this time it was at the back where my buttocks would be. And I used a tissue to see if it was a stain, it wiped off so I was sure it wasn’t a stain and it didn’t come from me.

I did not think there would be a change in the HIV risk would it? Just because it’s is now at the back, I am worried it may touch my anus, which is also a mucus membrane right?

[Juliaho90]

Also I wanted to ask where the mucous membranes of the anus is at? Is it inside the butt hole or the outside area leading into the hole? (sorry I don’t have a better word for this)

[Sam W]

Hi Juliaho90,

Nope, this does not change any of the initial stuff we told you about HIV risk. Too, as I mentioned previously, when you're using a toilet, any of the routes an STI would take into the body aren't touching the seat.

I really do think you need to have a talk with your therapist about how this is now happening repeatedly when you use public restrooms; it's clear that whatever techniques she's been telling you to use aren't sufficient to address the intensity of some of these fears, so the two of you need to try new approaches.

[Juliaho90]

Thanks Sam, I have shared my feedback with my therapist that it isn’t working but she just said I have to control my mind and try harder. Which is really easier said than done honestly, and I am struggling here.

You mentioned that HIV cannot get through unbroken skin, but I do have a couple of mosquito bites on the side of my thighs. Could the mosquito bite be a direct access to the bloodstream? Are mosquito bites considered open wounds?

[Sam W]

I don't believe mosquito bites are considered open wounds, no.

If you can, I would push back on your therapist a little bit; generally speaking, if "controlling your mind" was easy if you just tried hard, OCD, anxiety, and a host of other mental health issues would be much easier to treat than they often are. And even if her advice could work, it's clearly not working for YOU, and a thoughtful therapist will try introducing other strategies when it becomes clear the one they've been pushing isn't working for a given client.