Scarleteen

Hi SamW and anyone else who'd care to respond,

This is a slightly off-topic post, so please take your time if you care to respond to it.

You mentioned in a previous post you had a MSW degree. And I was curious about my caseworker's BSW degree. So I looked up both on the state university website. Do you think that a BSW degree would be a complimentary and viable option given what you know about me. And I realize that I haven't said much at all about my educational background.

I rarely went to middle school and arrived at my current foster family just after my 14th birthday and just as the school year was beginning. I struggled my first semester of G9 and after about six schedule changes settled in. My GPA improved from 2.8 that first semester to 3.67 my second semester of G10 so it's 3.27 cumulative (weighted and 3.18 unweighted). Math and science being my particular lead anchors, but even those improved between G9 and G10.

I took two Honors classes (English) and two AP classes (History) in G10 (one in each semester). If I am able to remain here next year I can take six AP (or Honors) classes, and I can take eight or ten (combined) depending on my individual choices in G12. All of the AP classes are offered through the state university satellite campus so transferring would not be an issue.

So, I could conceivably graduate in two years with 26 college credits which would include most of the state university core requirements. I need to verify this with the local satellite campus, but with a little effort I think that I could meet the requirements for a three-year 90 credit (plus the 30 credit core -- so I'd need to take one or two summer classes or evening classes) BSW degree.

I'm not sure if I could meet the other requirements of the program. But if it was a viable option, what would your thoughts be. I can't speak to anyone in person about what I would have to do until next month so no hurry. And I'd be speaking to my counselor at the high school and admissions at the satellite campus, checking all of my options and their requirements, so I don't end up in a bind over something I misunderstood.

Thanks

I certainly think pursuing a BSW is worth a shot! Bachelors programs are somewhat less laser-focused than a Masters program, so a lot of what you're doing in high school would help you with it the same way it would help if you were going for a undergrad degree in any field. And, frankly, I think social work programs could use more people in them who've been put through systems like CPS; it brings a very different perspective to the field as a whole.

It's so annoying that CPS keeps being uncommunicative about this! I do think that this may be due to the prison system being incredibly inefficient and prone to some of the most tangled bureaucracy there is, and so THEY are not giving information, or they're changing things, and so CPS doesn't have the information (they should still be honest with you about not knowing, though). But also, any delay is in some ways is a good delay, because it's extending the time you're with your foster family and living in a safe place.

Hi

My foster parents finally got a call from my caseworker. I was not part of the conversation, but I think they are pretty good at separating what is said from how they feel about what is said.

Apparently CPS has taken the "easy" route with my case and not followed through with many of the procedures and processes that I personally think they should have pursued. My foster parents say that my CPS caseworker blamed the courts for not keeping my mother in prison for a significant part of her sentence. (Not CPS for failing to terminate their parental rights and opening the door to their petition to have me returned.)

According to my caseworker, CPS lacks the legal authority to oppose the motion, all they can do is monitor the process to see that it is "seamless" and that it takes place over the summer so that I am ready for school "there" in the fall.

In addition, CPS blames the police and DA back in the city I used to live in for not calling to their attention a number of facts that were in the police and DA's interviews with me. I get the impression that nobody at CPS even read the interviews or reports, because they have said things that directly contradict statements in them.

CPS said that now, three years later, they will "investigate" my "allegations". (These would be the statements that the DA held over three peoples' heads to obtain guilty pleas. But ...

Then the caseworker flat out lied about what was and wasn't possible to determine with DNA evidence.

The upshot being that my foster parents were told to "get me ready to leave their care", and the transfer would happen in July or early August.

But ...

Based on the "new" allegations ... . (That would be the allegations on the papers CPS has had in their possession for three years, but never read.) I may be transferred to a group home rather than to my mother ... if she is deemed unsuitable. (I guess someone way-way up at the top of CPS will have to consult his "Magic-8-ball" to see if being an accessory before and after multiple rapes of one's minor daughter is grounds for "disqualification".)

My foster parents thought it interesting that CPS only spoke about my mother and never once mentioned my mother's husband. They don't understand why CPS would remove me from a stable environment where I was thriving to place me in a group home, and are trying to have a conversation concerning that and other issues with my caseworker's supervisor.

Oy vey, I am SO frustrated on your behalf, though I'm glad it seems like your foster family is increasingly willing to push back and raise a fuss to keep you safe and keep you with them. I happen to agree with them that taking you out of a loving, stable home and putting you in a group home is only a slightly less bananas choice than sending back to an unsafe home.

It sounds like a lot of people dropped the ball, and that you were either deliberately lied to at some points, like about the evidence collection. It also sounds like, instead of realizing that is not the right way to proceed, they're continuing to not communicate about the reunification. Your parents may already be doing this, but they should stay on the supervisor and the caseworker about what "getting you ready to leave their care" is supposed to entail, especially since they and you have completely reasonable fears about where you're being sent.

Were I your parents, I might like to remind your caseworker that their job isn't to make sure the reunification process is seamless. It's to make sure it's safe. CPS may not have the legal standing to oppose the reunification, but I bet they have some ways they could slow it waaaaaaay down if they wanted to. I don't recommend you or your family suggest they do that, or demand to know why they aren't, it's more that I want you to know that a good caseworker might be at least trying to find some ways to delay you going somewhere dangerous.

This didn't occur to me until Heather brought it to my attention, but were you ever given a Guardian Ad Litem? If you're enough of a ward of the state to be in foster care, then you should have had one (if you're not sure, I'd ask your family if they know). They could be a legal resource to you.

I will say that, if it comes down to July or August and there hasn't been a way to stop or delay this, we can and absolutely will talk with you about safety planning for this situation.

Hi SamW,

To my knowledge, I was never assigned a GAL. My current caseworker likes to -- in my opinion intentionally -- talk about multiple topics in order to give the impression that she is answering your question when she is not. She told me that here, GAL's work for the court, not the minor, and were only employed where there was a "question" before the court (such as which of two parents who wanted custody was best able to provide a nurturing environment).

My foster parents think that CPS, having taken "emergency" custody of me from the police, were "supposed" to have made a legal application to terminate my bio mother's legal rights. (CPS claims that my bio mother has sole legal custody of me.) But, since my bio mother was in custody, unable to make bail, and facing a very long prison sentence, "it wasn't a priority". (As in three years later they hadn't done it.)

Under state law being sentenced to "a-year-and-a-day" (any felony) is grounds for termination, but it is not automatic, CPS would have to make an application. Two attorneys (neither of who do this regularly) agree that once my bio mother was paroled it became moot.

Now I assume that my bio mother, with OUR bio father's financial backing, is challenging CPS's "emergency order" from three years ago. Because the "situation" that required my removal has been "resolved". So, I can return to my bio mother and bio father, and he can knock me up like he did his older daughter / my bio mother. And my caseworker is LYING saying that it would be impossible to prove that my bio mother's father raped his own daughter because a DNA test, that CPS won't ask the court for, "would not be conclusive".

ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

We're I someone's supervisor in this case, I'd be having a few words with several people for how they're handling it. But I'm not, and I'm talking with you, not them, so we'll leave it at that. I'm so sorry that your concerns continue to not be taken seriously by the people who have the power to keep you out of an unsafe situation; it's not fair that it's falling to you to fight this.

I do have a question, and it's okay if you're not comfortable answering: since it sounds like your mom's dad will be in the home you're returned to, about how old were you the last time he assault you? I'm asking because--and I think someone on the CPS or court end might have clocked this too--if it was close to the age you were when you were removed, and had been ongoing prior to that, AND he never faced any legal consequences or intervention, there's a case to be made that you being in a home with him is a situation of ongoing abuse that was never resolved and that you need to be kept out of.

Given how determined CPS is seeming about getting you off their roster, I do think it's time to start operating on basically a twin track of planning; one for continuing to push this back and, ideally, make the case that you stay with your foster family permanently, and one for if you do eventually get sent back to your bio family.

With the plan to stay, here are a few thoughts (you and your family may already be in the midst of doing them):
-That option about the letters that people in your community could write, the one the attorney you know put you onto, are a good thing to pursue sooner rather than later; the talk about the group home suggests something has indeed been flagged as making your bio family unsafe to return to.
-Continue pushing not only for details about the reunification process, but for details on what kind of supervision CPS intends to give the process and how long that's going to continue. That includes what they suggest you do if your mom or grandfather are falling into old patterns, or you're starting to feel unsafe (even though you feel unsafe from the get-go), given that they have a history of both imprisoning you and cutting you off from contacting anyone. It might be worth pointing out that if they cannot give you an answer to that, they're not doing this "seamlessly."

If it becomes clear you're going to get sent back:
-You already have the burner phone, so I might make a plan for who you'll call first if things get bad again. You'll want someone who can get to you pretty quickly.
-From what I can tell, in your state if you're 17, if you run away and have a safe place to stay, you won't be forced to return to the place you ran from. So some of this may be about making as much of a safety plan as possible until you're 17, at which point you figure you're out that door (we can help you plan for that as well).
-Have a frank talk with your foster family and ask them if you have to run, would they take you in (even if you were still 16)?
-I remember you saying that after the assault that triggered your removal, you managed to get out and get to a friends house. Is that friend still nearby where your bio family is living?
-Find out who the parole officer is assigned to your bio mom, and how you can contact them.

Okay, that's a lot all at once, so I'm going to pause there and give you a chance to check in <3

Hi SamW,

My bio mom's dad is certainly not wealthy, but he owns a run-down house and a business that, while not prosperous, is a part of the community. Before I was taken into CPS custody we lived with him and my bio mom and her husband worked for him ... well we all worked for him, I was just an unpaid maid and cook.

(And on occasion he raped me ... SHIT! I was his common-law wife! )

My mom was about my age when I was born and she never finished high school, so add that to being on probation she won't have a choice other than stay with him now.

Three years ago, I told the police how he has been molesting me ... basically forever. He started penetrating me "when I was ready", his terminology for my having started menstruation.

I won't go back to live there. I mean CPS might leave me there but I won't stay. I've already begun to plan for that eventuality. I don't know about a group home, as you said I need about a year. If it is safe and I can earn money and keep it, or go to a school that will get me into a college, I may try that out. It won't be here, but ... .

In one way I am very, very lucky. My foster parents know everybody in this small town and they introduced me to all of their friends, so I don't have to directly involve them. And my guess is that CPS has a much harder time ignoring or deflecting concerns by local police, the high school administration, shopkeepers, and members of "sky-daddy's" flock as being self-interest.

I do have a plan in outline form concerning what to do if I run, and I'm working on realistically developing it. I won't directly involve my foster parents for three reasons. I don't think that I'll have to; they will be accused of doing what they do to get more money out of the state; and I respect everything that they have done for me and just won't.

There is a lot less crime here, 20 plus miles from the city, than in my old neighborhood. So local officers can take a moment to make official inquiries.

I take it from his response that typically the pastor's typically deals with threats and concerns that are figurative, or potential, rather than literal or transpired. So he wrote a letter to the Governor. I'm not sure that is where I would have started, but CPS is an executive agency and the G is their boss. Given his party's slight advantage in sate-wide races, I don't think he can afford to simply ignore a pastor with a flock and a pulpit in an election year.

I hope that the (three year-old) police reports and (two-year old) statements from my teacher, together with my brand new statement to the police here has warned CPS off of returning me to my previous residence in the city, but I'm not really sure of anything right now. I don't have the slightest belief that if I am returned to my grandfather's house he and my bio mom will start right where they left off.

I mean after beating the living crap out of me for being disloyal. (You can edit that out, but it is honestly how I feel.)

I'd love to write this letter to my bio mom's PO:

(honorific, name), Parole Officer
(work address) 6/25/24

Dear Ma'am,

As the child of (bio mom), who was recently released
from (prison). I was hoping that you might find a
legitimate way to violate her and send her back to
(prison) to serve her remaining sentence.

These are things you might look for ....

Once again, I am torn between wanting to congratulate you for how on top of this you are, and all the ways you're thinking three steps ahead in terms of protecting yourself and anger on your behalf for how you've been treated.

It does sound like you're already developing a plan for getting out and staying out, so all I can say is keep on that to the best of your ability as you get more concrete information. It does sound like you have a community that knows and believes you, so you may find that some of your barriers to running might be solved by getting help from different people who you know. Too, if down the line you hit a major barrier you can't work out a way around, we can talk about that and try to help you how we can.

You know, while asking a parole officer to try and nail someone with an offense isn't a good call, I think you are within bounds to know what the conditions of parole are. Just because that's now another apparatus that, if triggered, could get you out temporarily or permanently.

I do also want to say that, if you get placed back and can't get out right away, one option is for me--in my capacity of working here--to call CPS and report my concerns. Because, from my angle, I have someone telling me they were routinely abused, and that in spite of being removed from the home for a time, they're now back and I have reason to believe they are at high risk of ongoing abuse. I just wanted you to know that option is also on the table should you need it.

Hi SamW,

Thank you so much for your continuing help, and your kind offer.

This morning when I checked my e-mails I had one with several attachments from a lady who describes herself as a "former foster mother who did not have a copasetic relationship with (CPS)". She lives in a nearby state so the documents she sent me (Foster Child's Bill of Rights, Foster Parent's Bill of Rights, and Biological Parent's Bill of Rights) were "treasure maps", but after a little digging I found that my state had approximately the same statutes in place.

So, I called my attorney friend, and she is going to advise me on how to write all the letters pertaining to the fact that CPS was legally obligated to provide me with these items (and never did) ... . Oh, and what to call those "legal letters" so that I appear to be minimally competent, and to whom to send those letters.

CPS was supposed to give me a paper copy of my legal rights as a foster child, a paper copy of my "permanence" plan (they can change it at will, but they need to provide me a new copy each time they do), a paper stating whom to address my concerns and complaints to (maybe an ombudsman?), and what I consider most relevant ...

A paper copy of an assessment of my academic progress, goals, and post-secondary prospects (along with information on financial resources).

I'm doing really well in school here, after basically never attending school in the city and not having that school district ever wonder why I missed three or four days a week. THAT would be the school district that they want to return me to.

The statute says one copy directly to me ... IN ADDITION TO a copy for my foster parents. So, CPS cannot claim that it gave my fosters a copy and they just never gave it to me. (Besides, I know CPS is very busy ... I truly doubt there is a "permanence" plan or an educational assessment.)

There are also many statutes pertaining to the safety and education of foster children that neither the "permanence" plan, fosters, or the agency can violate. (I counted over 30 sub-sections, but most cover more than one discrete subject or one specific age group.)

You're very welcome, and I'm so glad we, and I, am able to be an ongoing support for you.

I'm also so glad you were able to get in contact with someone who has experience as a foster parent but also experience with having to push back against a pretty busted system. And good on you for tracking down the most accurate versions of the information you needed! Since I'm not a lawyer, I can't say if there's a particular way to best utilize the fact that CPS was not giving you the records they should have--that lack of a permanence plan is particularly egregious--but if nothing else it gives you better footing to say that CPS has been careless in their handling of this case and want the brakes put on the reunification (it sounds like that decision ultimately came from the court, but still, CPS is the one in charge of implementing it).

I was hoping you or someone who your family knows with legal connections would be able to find statutes that place safety as the highest priority. Those are present basically any time there's legal or social service apparatus dedicated to the protection of children. That kind of statute could come in handy if you have to challenge this decision even more, particularly as it relates to you being sent to live in the same space as a family member who has a history of assaulting you.

Hi Sam W,

Thank you,

This is cut and pasted from the (State) Annotated Statutes.

Each entry below contains the relevant section number and subsection number, which I have edited out for brevity. In some cases, when I go to the actual statute, I find that the text of the annotated version was edited by the state, probably for brevity as well (for instance, the actual code for my current favorite 1u, lists the required items).

(1) The department and all county departments and licensed child welfare agencies shall respect the rights of all foster children. These rights shall include the right to all of the following:
(a) Live in a safe, healthy, and comfortable home where the foster child is treated with respect.
(b) Be free from physical, sexual, emotional, or other abuse or corporal punishment.
(c) Receive adequate and healthy food and adequate clothing.
(d) Receive medical, dental, vision, and mental health services.
(e) Be free from the administration of medication or chemical substances, unless authorized by a physician.
(f) Contact family members, unless prohibited by court order.
(g) Visit and contact siblings, unless prohibited by court order.
(h) Contact the department, a county department, or a licensed child welfare agency regarding violations of rights, to speak to representatives of those agencies confidentially, and to be free from threats or punishments for making complaints.
(i) Make and receive confidential telephone calls and send and receive confidential mail and electronic mail.
(j) Attend religious services and activities of the foster child's choice.
(k) Manage personal income, consistent with the foster child's age and developmental level, unless prohibited by the foster child's case plan.
(l) Not be locked in any room.
(m) Attend school and participate in extracurricular, cultural, and personal enrichment activities, consistent with the foster child's age and developmental level.
(n) Work as permitted under state and federal law and to develop job skills at an age-appropriate level.
(o) Have social contacts with people outside of the child welfare system, such as teachers, church members, mentors, and friends.
(p) Attend court hearings and speak to the judge.
(q) Have storage space for private use.
(r) Review the foster child's permanency plan if he or she is over 12 years of age and to receive information about that permanency plan and any changes to that permanency plan.
(s) Be free from unreasonable searches of personal belongings.
(t) Have fair and equal access to all available services, placement, care, treatment, and benefits, and to not be subjected to discrimination or harassment on the basis of actual or perceived race, ethnicity, ancestry, national origin, religion, sex, sexual orientation, mental or physical disability, or human immunodeficiency virus status.
(u) Have access, if 16 years of age or over, to information regarding the educational options available, including the prerequisites for vocational and post-secondary education options and information regarding financial aid for post-secondary education.
(2) When a child is placed in a foster home, the department, county department, or licensed child welfare agency placing the child shall provide the child with a written copy of the foster children's bill of rights in the child's primary language, if possible, and shall inform the child of the rights provided by the foster children's bill of rights orally using language or means that are appropriate to the child's age and developmental level and that ensure that the child understands the meaning of the bill of rights.

Hi SamW,

My foster parents informed me that they got "an angry phone call" from my CPS caseworker's supervisor. Apparently CPS is angry that I made what they call a "new" allegation ... .

On Sunday I spoke to my local PD and gave them a very long and detailed statement -- but it's exactly the same as the one the local PD in my old city took three years ago and which I have evidence that both that PD and the DA's office forwarded to CPS, THREE YEARS AGO.

Apparently (since counties are subdivisions of the state and all duly deputized county officers can enforce state law regardless of the county said infraction occurred in) the local PD in my town spoke with the county sheriff who sent a deputy to visit my bio mother's parole officer and interview her.

And her P.O. has decided that since they are currently co-conspirators / and possible future co-defendants, she can't live with her father ... .

Too funny. It's not a problem that a "child rapist" and his accessory / accomplice are cohabiting ... . No, it's a problem that someone noticed.

Sadly, you're right that for a lot of people, it's far more convenient for them to ignore a dangerous or abusive/potentially abusive situation, especially if they're under any outside pressure to do something that acknowledging or investigating that abuse might interfere with. But, as you're learning, in a situation like this, you protecting yourself is going to inconvenience some people. And that's okay; they're not the ones facing the possibility of going back to an incredibly unsafe environment, you are, and their inconvenience matters less than your safety.

I am glad to hear that the PD you reported, and your bio mom's P.O, seem to be taking this allegation seriously. And I do want to point out that while CPS, or at least your caseworker and supervisor, might be upset, that upset should be directed at whoever didn't follow through on your initial report of this same incident.

Hi SamW,

Thank you.

I had a semi-long conversation with my foster parents this morning. It's sort of hard for me to trust that anyone is doing something for another person as opposed to for themselves, but I am at the point of trusting my foster parents. I may not always agree with what they think or tell me, but I do trust that they are looking at things and situations to benefit me.

They have asked me to "drop it down into second gear", by which they mean slow-roll my activities in the future.

So, perhaps I am not thinking everything through, but I'm happy there is a back-log of stuff I've already done that they don't know about. And I really don't think that they want to know about it all. Because it gives them deniability when they deal with CPS.

Their logic, which I don't have the experience to either agree or disagree with, is that most people "try to get by"; "expend less, rather than more, effort"; and "it is to our (my) benefit to give them 'an out' that accomplishes our (my) goal".

Saying that, I believe they are thinking that the people at CPS whose jobs are over my caseworker's head, don't want to "lose face" and be outed for not doing their job. (I mean my bio mother's allocution statement - required in this state on plea bargains - should totally and permanently, disqualify her from ever regaining custody of me ... in addition to being a cause of concern if she ever had another child.) They think (and I hope they are right) that if we give those in charge a moment they will see what we see.

That basically there are four paths forward. They return me to my bio mother and I bolt as soon as I can. Which brings a whole lot of scrutiny on why I was ever returned. They send me to a group home in the city and lots of people here write the governor ... or worse ABC, CBS, CNN, and NBC ... not to mention Fox or TBN who will figuratively gut them. They allow me to become emancipated (my favorite and the least likely). Or they do nothing which is my foster parent's favorite. (It would be my favorite too except for the uncertainty. Emancipation cannot be undone while doing nothing this month doesn't ensure that doing nothing continues.)

They want path four to be the course of least resistance for CPS, and argued as much to my caseworker's supervisor saying that the "status quo" allowed overstretched CPS resources to be utilized on cases that "weren't already resolved to the foster child's benefit".

I'm glad you and they were able to have that talk; if nothing else, it sounds like the kind of communication that parents and kids would ideally be having around high-stakes life stuff in other cases.

I do think they have a point in that taking a pause--especially with so much in motion--might benefit you, in two ways. One is what they pointed out; it might give CPS the time to come up with a version of letting you stay that also lets them save face, or gives various agencies the time to compare notes and go "aw crud, we really did mess this up and we need to fix it" rather than them going on the defensive. But it also gives YOU some breathing room, which you very much deserve after doing so much to advocate for yourself.

I also think there's merit in doing what you can to have one of the two preferred outcomes be the path of least resistance for CPS. You are, in a lot of ways, a CPS success story; you were removed from a shockingly unsafe home, and through a good placement you excelled in school, found stability, etc. Devoting a lot of time and energy to a reunification that is unnecessary and ill-advised really doesn't make a ton of sense given the limited resources CPS has. So if leaning that direction seems to be getting a better response than pointing out "hey, you're putting me in danger and also someone really dropped the ball on my case," I'd say it's worth seeing if leaning that way keeps helping you out.

Hi SamW,

Thanks again.

I think that you have an excellent point. Whomever is making the decisions at CPS (my guess is the 'Magic 8-Ball' ) would have to pretty committed to making a decision that they may still see as "right" -- but that a whole heck of a lot of people who would be heard (respectable adults in an election year) would be more likely to label as "horribly flawed" or (terms not normally used in polite society) -- instead of declaring a victory for the system.

I mean, there are those who excel at snatching defeat from the jaws of success. I hope the decision maker isn't one of those, or that she/he is too busy.

Hi SamW,

For the first time in 21-months, a CPS caseworker made an appointment with my foster parents to "see how things are going". It wasn't "my" caseworker. We were told that she is "on vacation".

Long story-short, she blamed the police and prosecutor's office for "not following through on the original criminal complaints that (I) made three years ago". It doesn't comfort me knowing that I know the law better than she does. I made a statement, the police based on my sworn statement made an application, only the prosecutor's office can file a criminal complaint.

She was half-right though. The prosecutors office failed miserably in not pursuing criminal complaints against my bio grandfather after they had plea bargains for the other three. (None of those deals included immunity or a nolle prosequi for him, that would have been politically unthinkable.) But CPS failed miserably as well and will not take any responsibility for not going through the legal steps they could have to protect me. It also appears that they won't acknowledge Dumbo sitting on the Lazy-Boy over there, choosing instead a guerrilla campaign to show that moving me is not in my long-term interest without introducing the fact that in her allocution, my bio mother said that she destroyed my entire bedroom to eliminate any possibility that her father's DNA would be found in it.

But at least CPS's half-assed plan gives me a shot at not going back to my bio monsters. I thought about putting a lot of details here, or some of the details, or just glossing over the details. But decided to be like Siddhartha and take that middle path. I'm going to take a summer class for credit at the college, which will delay moving me if my bio-monsters try to get a judge to order it. Then I will be in school and CPS has a dossier on my old school's failings. So, hopefully that will delay things. I'm changing my high school schedule so that I have some every-other-day all year classes. And by next summer I'll be able to walk away from CPS and my foster parents with impunity.

Plus, by odd coincidence, my walking away absolves CPS.

The state legislature should really consider a new State Motto. "The F'dup State" would look great on a license plate.

Hi Donnwannago,

Thank you for the update!

I'm glad someone from CPS is at least now admitting that the process wasn't handled correctly, even if they're downplaying the role they might have played in things getting to this point. But I hear you on it being incredibly frustrating to feel as if you've had to become an expert on all these different laws and systems just to stand a chance of not being sent somewhere that, if people had been paying proper attention, would not even be up for consideration as a place to send you to.

It does sound like CPS is now at least going to try and delay or prevent reunification to some degree, which is a big step given how they were approaching things when you first posted here. And, as we've talked about before, anything that helps run the clock down until you're the age where they can't force you to go back anywhere is a good thing. Plus, it sounds like you're using your classes and educational plan as a way to increase the chances of them not trying to move you away.

Given where this whole situation sits right now, is there a kind of support we can offer that would be the most helpful to you? Even if for right now that's just the knowledge that we'll continue to be here as a resource when/if you need us?

Hi SamW,

Just knowing that a place like this exists where I'm not censored and can get an empathetic response is a wonderful thing.

Thank you.

I wanted to clarify something with my foster parents before I posted it.

As an addendum to my earlier post of today, as both they and I understand it, CPS (because they did not ask the Court to terminate my bio monster's parental rights) cannot deny due process to her in her attempt to regain my custody. (They also said that they cannot legally investigate her for failing to protect me. Because she essentially allocuted to that fact when she said that I told her my bio grandfather raped me, but she believed/believes that I was lying. Neither I nor my foster parents believe that is accurate, but none of us are attorneys.)

And ha, ha, there was/is no physical evidence. (I said that, not her.)

CPS cannot intentionally make it more difficult for her to meet the requirements that anyone else in her circumstance must meet to regain custody.

She has to remain on parole or be released in good standing; be tested for and remain free from alcohol and any drug not prescribed to her by a doctor; maintain a home suitable (by CPS regulation), either of her own (where her father is not the owner, an agent of the owner, on the lease, a co-signatory, given keys, or permitted access; or a home with others who have been screened and found acceptable by CPS, and where she would not have a familiar or financial obligation to the other people in the home; maintain a job that will support her and me per CPS regulations (with the caveat that her employer, manager, or any co-worker cannot be her father or someone she or he has a familiar or financial relationship with; enroll me in a private school, or a public one that is different from the one that ignored the fact that she and her father were keeping me home; and not associate with her father.

I'm hoping those last six words are just too much for her to even contemplate.

I'm glad we exist and that we're able to be here for you as well <3

You know, reading what you shared, I do think, at the very least, those expectations that have been laid out for your bio mom are going to give you a lot of time to continue pushing back against this in what ways remain available. Some of those may take awhile for her to maintain, and as you pointed out, there's a non-zero chance she may choose to continue associating with her father rather than follow them, which would either prolong the time you're not with her or demonstrate to whoever needs to see it that she is not willing, or not capable, of maintaining a living situation that does not put you into contact with him.

Hi everyone, especially Sam W,

An update after 19 days . . .

Don't get a job working for CPS. Now, I don't think that my caseworker was the greatest. But she was made the fall gal for the agency's many failures, most of which predated her involvement in my case.

Local police just arrested my grandfather, the man whom I strongly suspect to be my bio-father, on multiple counts of statutory rape. Maybe the court will issue an order to compare my DNA and his. Since my bio-mother was living with him at the time of his arrest, in violation of her parole officer's . . . I'm unsure if it was legally an order or a condition . . . it is unlikely that she will ever be able to get a court to return me to her custody.

Heck, she may end up back in a minimum security lockup. Good riddance for bad garbage!

So, maybe . . . just maybe . . . the system sorta works . . .. I mean . . . if you keep on their ass and kick it every so often.

Oh, wow. It is Sam's day off, but all of us who are here today are so glad to hear this good news for you.

Hi Heather et al.,

Thank You. I know that an abysmally small number of sexual predators are ever convicted. But hopefully the fallout from the legal battle will make a big difference.

Hi Donnwannago,

I am so, so happy to hear this update! It must be such a relief to know you won't be forced to leave a safe home for an incredibly dangerous one, and to see that all of the work you and your family did to advocate for your well being actually made a difference. I'm SO glad you'll be able to continue being in a space that's safe and loving for you <3