Re: My partner doesn’t like my friends
Posted: Tue Oct 22, 2024 10:16 am
So I think there are two separate things to address here. One is your friendship with Lexi, and the other is the roommate dynamic between your gf and Lexi.
In terms of your friendship, I am hearing a lot of your gf's opinions about how Lexi treats you, but I'm curious to know, how do you feel?
- Do you feel taken advantage of when Lexi asks for rides? Are you feeling resentful because she didn't get you a birthday present, but expects one? Your gf can certainly express her opinions about your friends, but it is up to you to decide your next steps. I think setting new boundaries with Lexi sounds like a great place to start. Do you have an idea of what boundaries you'd like to set in place?
It is also possible that your gf feels strongly about your friendship with Lexi due to the frustrating experience of sharing a living space with them.
So, let's talk about the roommate situation. Right now, is it just Lexi and your gf sharing the space? It sounds like they need to have a frank conversation about expectations in regards to keeping the living space clean and habitable. Lexi's habits do sound like cause for concern as well. Over the course of your friendship, have you noticed their hygiene habits? Is this a new behavior, or something that has been a constant in their life?
If it is the former, the lack of cleaning up after themselves could be caused by a depressive episode, and they might appreciate some support from their friends. If it is the latter, then they should begin developing habits of cleaning up after themselves, which is another thing friends could support them with.
In summary;
- you need to decide if you want to continue being friends with Lexi, and what, if any, new boundaries you'd like to set
- your gf and Lexi need to have a conversation to set expectations about maintaining their shared living space
- you and Lexi's other friends may need to offer Lexi some support in keeping their space clean
How does all that sound?
In terms of your friendship, I am hearing a lot of your gf's opinions about how Lexi treats you, but I'm curious to know, how do you feel?
- Do you feel taken advantage of when Lexi asks for rides? Are you feeling resentful because she didn't get you a birthday present, but expects one? Your gf can certainly express her opinions about your friends, but it is up to you to decide your next steps. I think setting new boundaries with Lexi sounds like a great place to start. Do you have an idea of what boundaries you'd like to set in place?
It is also possible that your gf feels strongly about your friendship with Lexi due to the frustrating experience of sharing a living space with them.
So, let's talk about the roommate situation. Right now, is it just Lexi and your gf sharing the space? It sounds like they need to have a frank conversation about expectations in regards to keeping the living space clean and habitable. Lexi's habits do sound like cause for concern as well. Over the course of your friendship, have you noticed their hygiene habits? Is this a new behavior, or something that has been a constant in their life?
If it is the former, the lack of cleaning up after themselves could be caused by a depressive episode, and they might appreciate some support from their friends. If it is the latter, then they should begin developing habits of cleaning up after themselves, which is another thing friends could support them with.
In summary;
- you need to decide if you want to continue being friends with Lexi, and what, if any, new boundaries you'd like to set
- your gf and Lexi need to have a conversation to set expectations about maintaining their shared living space
- you and Lexi's other friends may need to offer Lexi some support in keeping their space clean
How does all that sound?