Scarleteen

You're welcome.

P.S. Don't forget to put a real focus on accepting yourself for who you are and where you're at in anything in your life so far.

There is nothing wrong with whatever your pace is, and wherever you are at. It is OKAY not to be ready for things other people are, just like it's okay to BE ready for things other people are not. And coming to something later than someone else also doesn't mean that has to be a problem, or that you can't have whatever that thing is be something you rock in your own time.

If it helps, as a personal example, while I started teaching, in a general way, earlier than most, I came to teaching and working in sex ed, specifically, as a bit of a second-career, not getting started in it until my late 20s. And yet, here I am almost 20 years later, with a shelf full of shiny awards, one of the most visible and recognized sex educators in the world, running an organization that in it's tenure, has probably provided more people with sex education and information than almost any other source. The fact that I came to it all a bit later, with other experience, both work experience and life experience, that I think really informs how I do this, is probably more a benefit than a detriment.

I'd hazard a guess we're all late-bloomers, or are going to be, with at least one thing, if not a whole bunch of things. That doesn't have to be a bad thing, and isn't somehow less-good or okay by default. Sometimes it's actually a good thing. But no matter how we feel about that, now or later on, it is what it is, because there's just no one life timeline with anything that's the "right" timeline, just the one we have.

Thank you!
I've always been very career minded, I have an amazing job and yes I'll blow my own trumpet I am very good at what I do for a living! I have not long turned 29yrs old and lost my dad suddenly Xmas day 2015 and I guess I have just been trying to evaluate my life and my experiences and thought by this stage in my life is have things figured out! I suppose the main part of that is sex, relationships and how at 29 I'm still a virgin yet my lil sisters are married with kids and mum still treats me like a kid because of different things. I kind of thought that I needed to speed up how I'm feeling in relation to sex because of my age yet as you have rightly pointed out to me everyone has their own pace and I can honestly say I am NOT ready for it! Maybe I never will be and that's something I will have to just get my head around!
Thank you again for listening and advising

How your mother treats you, btw, is on her, not you. That's HER choice, and about what she does, not about who you are or what you do. I'm very sorry it sounds like she doesn't treat you with respect, but I hope you can recognize that it's not sound to base treating people with respect on diverse life choices or opportunities like having kids or not, getting married or not, or having sex or not.

Yer, it's fine, I came to understand a long time ago that my family think of me as a odd ball!! I have never really fitted in with the 'normal' of what THEY perceive as 'normal' anyway! And that's just fine, I just need to remember that my life choices are exactly that and that I shouldn't feel pressurised into doing anything just because someone else believes I should! I'm not ready for sex, I'm not ready to settle down and have kids. I'm not even 100% sure im ready for anything at the moment! im not even 100% sure on my sexuality at the moment and so yer feeling a little messed up!

<applause>

Is there anything I can read (obviously not tonight!) about figuring out my sexuality? I'll be honest and say that I also think one of the reasons I thought I needed to play catch up is to work out if I am what I am or I am what my family has always expected me to be, could this also be a reason I don't feel ready for sex/intimacy with a partner because I'm not sure? Hopefully that doesn't sound weird!!! Could that be why I 'feel' so ashamed when it comes to masterbation?! Maybe just throwing random ideas out there! Lol

You can start on any of the links I gave you: that's part of what they're for!

This one may also help: Sexuality: WTF Is It, Anyway?

Thank you so much Heather!!!
Am gonna grab an hours sleep now before I drive across country, 6hrs stuck in a car with this guy for a MASSIVE meeting tomorrow :& as well as standing up for myself with the guy!! Hopefully the meeting will be all he wishes to discuss!!!
Take care of yourself

Just read your over 25 thingy, apologies if I stepped over any lines here! Didn't intend to

No apology necessary, really! It's not like those over 25 aren't allowed here at all. You're more than welcome to keep posting as much as you need.

Just wanting to expand on what Karyn said:

Tigger1, the post I think you might be referring to - the "Are you over 25? Please read this" post? - was written in response to a particular kind of over-25 who shows up here occasionally. The kind who seem to think that their age automatically makes them more knowledgeable or more senior to younger folk, and display a baffling and frankly rude kind of entitlement by telling us how to do our jobs, telling our younger users how to live their lives, and arguing with us about our community rules. I'm guessing you've probably also come across that kind of person, there's a few everywhere! Obviously that kind of behaviour doesn't wash here, shouldn't wash anywhere, but those kind of folk need a blunt reminder that in this young-people's space, it's younger people who are centred, and not older people, like in so much of the world.

Over-25s who respect and support our youth-centredness are very welcome here. Questions and issues that are relevant to younger people - like, for example, beginning to figure out one's sexual self or sexual life - are very welcome here. It's all good with you!

Thank you

Rough day
Have read one article though.
Seemed to helpish..Makes me think.

Thanks again for helping though

You're welcome, and I;m glad the article was helpful Is there anything else you'd like to talk with us about right now?

No thanks, as Heather suggested, I'm just gonna take some time to read things through and figure things out.
Thanks

Hi,
I have some stuff on my mind and a couple of questions id like to voice but although it relates to some of the stuff in this thread, it doesn't really belong with the original questions! Can I voice it all here or where would I be better if putting it?! I'm not really entirely sure where it belongs because it's all a bit jumbled!
Thanks

Hey Tigger -- if it's related to the topic of this thread, you can of course ask it here! If it's not related much at all, it might be better to just start a new topic (don't worry too much about which forum to put it in, put it somewhere you think it generally fits, and we can always move it to a better-suited location if necessary) just to make it easier for everyone involved to keep track of the two different conversations!

Thanks I've posted in ask us...
Thanks

I hope I can be here: I am new to this (sex stuff) but I'm older than everyone here! Embarrassment, shame and being molested as a child kept me away from any sexual experiences for many years. I am 43 and just started masturbating this month. It's been painful though. How do I know if I'm doing something wrong? I feel so behind in this subject, that adds SO much embarrassment to the topic on top of all my other issues hehe. I orgasm-ed in the shower a decade ago accidentally and it was amazing! But I can't do it on purpose now without experiencing pain instead of orgasm. How much does the Psychological aspect matter? When I did it accidentally, I was really relaxed. But now I feel a million things at once (including some shame although I feel the need to explore myself, so the shame is not mine). I cannot focus on anything that "turns me on" without feeling ashamed though I never even had a libido before this month, so this is a new world to explore, and I feel so behind. Why did I get a libido now? Anyone know? LOL

Hi Lily, can you please make a new thread where we can answer your questions about this?