Homecoming help?

Questions and discussions about gender, gender roles and identity.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
KittyPink
not a newbie
Posts: 378
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: Homecoming help?

Unread post by KittyPink »

Sam W wrote:Got it. This sounds like a really stressful and frustrating situation for you, and I'm sorry you're dealing with it right now. It's hard when the person who is supposed to be caring for you is holding various threats over your head. Are you also asking your friends for support around this, so that you have people nearby you who you can confide in?

You mention facing consequences for not going. Am I right in assuming that those are the same consequences she's already threatening (like relinquishing custody)?
Yeah, the consequences are probably the same for going. And yeah, I'm asking for all the support I can get.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

***Transfeminine***

LIVE AND LEARN
Top
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Homecoming help?

Unread post by Sam W »

Oh good, I'm glad to hear you're maintain a "team you." That can be so important in these sorts of situations. Is there a particular kind of support we can offer to supplement what you're getting from your friends?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Top
KittyPink
not a newbie
Posts: 378
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: Homecoming help?

Unread post by KittyPink »

I'm not sure, outside of tonight, I have no plans for how to move forward.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

***Transfeminine***

LIVE AND LEARN
Top
KittyPink
not a newbie
Posts: 378
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: Homecoming help?

Unread post by KittyPink »

KittyPink wrote:I'm not sure, outside of tonight, I have no plans for how to move forward.
Well, I ended up fighting with virtually everyone family-wise, and got myself so stressed out I got sick and vomited before the dance, so I couldn't of really gone anyway.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

***Transfeminine***

LIVE AND LEARN
Top
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9703
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Homecoming help?

Unread post by Heather »

Oh, Kitty. I am so sorry. :(
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Top
KittyPink
not a newbie
Posts: 378
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: Homecoming help?

Unread post by KittyPink »

I Feel like I deserve it, though. Also, my family knows that I was going to leave without permission, and I swear I'm the worst thing to them.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

***Transfeminine***

LIVE AND LEARN
Top
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Homecoming help?

Unread post by Sam W »

You didn't deserve it. You deserved to have a fun night out with people you like, and I'm so sorry that was ruined for you by the stuff going on with your family and that they're making you feel this way. Are there things you can do for yourself today, like hanging out with friends or some out-of-the-house self-care, to help you feel a little better?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Top
KittyPink
not a newbie
Posts: 378
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: Homecoming help?

Unread post by KittyPink »

I don't think so, I'm confused on where I stand as far as what I can and can't do.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

***Transfeminine***

LIVE AND LEARN
Top
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Homecoming help?

Unread post by Sam W »

Do you mean in terms of your family and how they'd react to things like you going out? Or something else?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Top
KittyPink
not a newbie
Posts: 378
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
Location: Parma,Ohio

Re: Homecoming help?

Unread post by KittyPink »

Family, mainly with me going out, and also what exactly I'm allowed to do. (As if I went without permission to the dance, my grandmother told me I'd be labeled a runaway and have law enforcement called on me.)
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship

***Transfeminine***

LIVE AND LEARN
Top
Alice O
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 326
Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2016 10:13 pm
Age: 31
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm really good at taking naps.
Primary language: Engish
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: hetero
Location: New York City

Re: Homecoming help?

Unread post by Alice O »

Hey KittyPink,

I'm saddened to hear this news :cry:. Both that you were unable to dress up and go to the dance with your friends, but also that your family is making you feel so bad about yourself. You deserved none of this.

Have you gotten any clarification on what the rules are in your house right now?

And have you found some things you can do to treat your body & heart & mind with kindness? They deserve it! I know you know you're way around Scarleteen, but here's the self-care master list if you want to look over it and see what you feel drawn to: Self-Care a La Carte.
Top
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic

Return to “Gender”