Rape and Fiance
Forum rules
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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kreed95
- not a newbie
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:16 pm
- Age: 29
- Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: kim
- Sexual identity: straight
- Location: Alabama
Re: Rape and Fiance
No but the more resources the better because than I can look into what fits me best.
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Sam W
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: Rape and Fiance
Okay! Here is another Alabama-specific resource that might help you out: https://www.domesticshelters.org/al/ala ... statistics
Can I ask if your fiance has ever offered you support around getting away from your family, given that he witnessed them abusing you first-hand?
Can I ask if your fiance has ever offered you support around getting away from your family, given that he witnessed them abusing you first-hand?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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kreed95
- not a newbie
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:16 pm
- Age: 29
- Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: kim
- Sexual identity: straight
- Location: Alabama
Re: Rape and Fiance
Yes he did. But at the time neither of us had a job. So we was kind of stuck in the situation. But now I have 3 and he has 1. I try and stay awake till they go to bed and wake up before they do. I stay in my room unless they need me. Or if they need to cut grass or something else because they don't clean the house. I just make the best out of a horrible situation
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9703
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: Rape and Fiance
Just so you know, you may have transitional housing available to you as someone looking to get out of domestic violence, housing that may not cost you at all.
I'd suggest following up with these resources now: no need to wait until you can afford rent. They may be able to help you find affordable, or even free, temporary housing to help get you out of abuse and over the housing-issues hump.
When talking to the YWCA, specifically, know they can likely help you with both these sets of needs: both getting out of the domestic violence you have been living in AND help getting counseling and/or support groups to heal from the sexual abuses/assaults. Just be sure to ask about all those needs so they know.
I'd suggest following up with these resources now: no need to wait until you can afford rent. They may be able to help you find affordable, or even free, temporary housing to help get you out of abuse and over the housing-issues hump.
When talking to the YWCA, specifically, know they can likely help you with both these sets of needs: both getting out of the domestic violence you have been living in AND help getting counseling and/or support groups to heal from the sexual abuses/assaults. Just be sure to ask about all those needs so they know.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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kreed95
- not a newbie
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:16 pm
- Age: 29
- Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: kim
- Sexual identity: straight
- Location: Alabama
Re: Rape and Fiance
ok thanks I will continue to look into it.
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9703
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: Rape and Fiance
How's it been going? Anything we can help you more with, or additionally, or that you want to talk more about? 
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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kreed95
- not a newbie
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:16 pm
- Age: 29
- Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: kim
- Sexual identity: straight
- Location: Alabama
Re: Rape and Fiance
Nothing really. I've just been staying in my room and working 15 hours a day. So by the time I come home I just go to bed. So I just try to avoid
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Sam W
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: Rape and Fiance
Have you had any luck getting in touch with any of the resources in your area? If so, how has that gone?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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kreed95
- not a newbie
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:16 pm
- Age: 29
- Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: kim
- Sexual identity: straight
- Location: Alabama
Re: Rape and Fiance
ITs good
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