:(

[Karyn]

It totally does. I am all too familiar with that feeling and yep, it sucks, big time. I'm so sorry you're feeling that way now, and hopefully this new therapist will be able to help you with some strategies to manage those feelings. Is there anything you think would be helpful from us in the meantime?

[sky]

i’m sorry you know the feeling. it sucks!!!!! i think i’m okay. i’m working and trying to stay distracted. i’m not gonna relapse on self harm again! i made that promise to myself 2 weeks ago. actually!! it was i think 3 days ago, but i gave a friend my pills i’ve been saving to attempt again. i wanted to get rid of them for a year, i’ve thrown them and gotten the bottle back out of the trash, i’ve hid them in my closet to just ignore them and i realized it’s not healthy to have them all.

so i gave them to her and told her not to tell me what she did but then i cried after i gave them and then later i begged her and she said she flushed them and i freaked out and couldn’t breathe because i missed them and needed them. sometimes they were the only comfort i had. i’m glad they are gone. i chose myself and i will continue to, no matter how hard it is to do so. i’m trying really hard!!

[Karyn]

I'm glad you were able to do some things to take care of yourself! It's obvious you're trying really hard to do things that you know are the best for you in the long run even if it's really hard in the short term - if only the best decisions and actions were always the easy ones! - so good on you for being able to do that.

Distractions are always a help, too, so it's good to hear you're trying to keep occupied!