Scarleteen

Hi Memekid,

It's very common to have a lot of mixed feelings about something like this. It's pretty hard and confusing when something isn't right in our home or with a parent or guardian, and we're thinking about taking steps to do something about it.

The way your mother's been behaving isn't okay, and you deserve better; you deserve to be safe. You deserve changes for the better! Making the call is a way that you can start that path for yourself.

How are you doing with this today?

I didn't get to make the call because my mom took my cellphone and DS away when I was caught with it last night. I'm planning to somehow find it and make the call. I made a list that is 5 pages so far on how much mom did to me these past 3-4 months. Don't worry, I kept it in a safe place I'm sure she'll never dig for.

I located my cellphone when I heard it vibrating on mom's table. I might make the call later.
mom said I couldn't go on computer anymore unless somebody was in the room with me.

I'm sorry to hear she's being so restrictive and it's hard for you to get a phone to make that call. Your first priority is always staying safe, okay?- including only using this site if and when it's safe to do so. If and when you get a safe opportunity, I'd say it's clear that it's important you make that call - please do, as soon as it's safe to do so.

Making that list was a good idea. Just be very, very, absolutely sure it's not going to be found, okay? It sounds like your mom is the kind of person who could easily look absolutely anywhere and everywhere - make sure you don't underestimate what she might do. If you can't be absolutely sure that list is safe, it's a better move to destroy it. You can always make it again later when it's safer, after you've made that call and you have some support and are safer.

I finally get to go on for an hour after I "promised" my mom I would do schoolwork.
I plan on calling around 6 PM after I bike ride over to a trailer we own next door. How should I start the conversation?
after scrolling through my mom's chatlog with my sister, she knows about Gurl.com too.

Mom also said that the "psychiatrist" wants me to start the pills again next week and wants to see them in my system.

nobody ever checks underneath my shirt :3

I'm glad to hear you have a plan for making the call.

There isn't one right way to start the conversation - however you do it will be okay. If some pointers might be helpful for you, I'd suggest telling them early on how old you are, that you're calling about your mom and you live with her, and that she keeps trying to get you to take prescription medication that wasn't prescribed for you and when you haven't seen a doctor.

When you call, I'd expect them to identify themselves (for example, we don't take calls, but if we did, we might say something like "hello, this is Scarleteen, Redskies speaking". Then, from you: these are my words and you probably want to change them a bit to make them more natural for you, but if I were making a call like this for myself, I might say "hello, I'm a young person and I'm concerned about my safety with my mother, and I'd like some help". They should be used to taking calls like that and will guide you through it, asking you the things they need to know in order to help you, and giving you space to tell them what's going on.

You can ask them anything you like at any point. If you don't feel comfortable with something they ask you, you can let them know that, and they and you can look for ways together where you'd be more comfortable.

That sounds like a clever hiding place, okay!

Plans got cancelled yet again when a storm hit around six :/

My mom also stereotyped masturbating by saying it was something only little boys would do.

Hey memekid,

Did you make the call? How did it go? Does your mother know about this website? I she able to access it or read anything you've posted here? I saw that you said you got on here at school, but you didn't try to while you were at home did you?

Hi memekid,

How are you doing today (both in terms of how you're feeling and how the plan with CPS is going)?

I sense you already know this, but if you ever feel you need materials to counter the messages your mom is giving you about masturbation, we have a number of them on the main site.

I feel empty inside.
I posted another thread about the CPS call on here. I'm starting to think I am crazy for actually going this far. Mom and my sister read this entire forum and also laughed at the list I showed her.
Maybe she isn't being abusive at all since even the CPS didn't care that much. She also messaged my friend that she was going to report her for "innapropriate advice".

They argued that they actually were trying to help me. Geez, this all started because of mom not approving of her daughter masturbating....

Apologies, I didn't spot the thread about CPS until you mentioned it. I am GOBSMACKED at the person's response to you saying you were being forced to take medication. As Mo mentioned in the other thread, would you be willing to ask your teacher to report this? And if not, if push came to shove, would you be okay with one of us doing so?

Also, do you happen to know the name of the therapist? Because she'd either be very concerned to hear what's being done or needs to be reported herself.

What really worries me is that you mom laughed when she saw what you'd written. A parent, even one with ultimately good motives, would (and should) be mortified if they realized they were scaring their kid badly enough that the kid called CPS for help.

(also, I want to say it took a lot of strength to make that call. Even if it didn't work out, that's something to be proud of).

I did make the call but it didn't really help much because she said to go to the counselor. She said I needed to get closely monitored and possibly thought I was just a whiny teenager. My mom knows about it now that she snooped through my Gurl buddy's emails and saw a link to this forum. I do use this at home as indiscreetly as possible.

I think I should just keep quiet but still keep everyone updated. My mom did say to not tell others about your private life.

If you feel comfortable doing so, would you be willing to give us the information we needed to call? Even if things mellow for a bit, this is likely to flair up again, and it would be good for us to have a way to call it in (also, multiple reports might make them pay attention). If you can get the name of the psychiatrist who's supposedly saying to give you these pills, the next step is to call and tell her what's going on.

Also, of course your mom wants you to keep quiet. If you keep quiet, she gets to do whatever she wants to you without anyone else knowing about it.

If you're worried she's going to start reading here too, do you want me to see if there's an alternate way you can update us?

Also, if you have not done so, change all of your passwords. Do that today, to make it harder for you to invade your privacy.

One other ask: can you tell me which number you called?

I would like to see alternative ways of updating. Don't call anyone right now, it will just cause more trouble. I already embarrassed myself as it is. I'm pretty sure mom and my sister are right about helping me, except about touching myself. I think I am the insane and crazy one.
My sister got me to talk to the school counselor today and we ended up getting a therapist arranged. Hopefully this will work for the better.

I have to say, there is no planet on which someone trying to force you to take medication (thus taking those away from the person who needs them) is helpful or safe. The doubts you're feeling are part of how abusive people operate: they make you feel like something totally not okay is just the status quo. BTW, it looks like the line you called was unlikely to have staff trained to talk to youth, which may explain the reaction you got (we won't call anyone without your okay, but I think it would really help to have one of us call.)

Did you tell the school counselor again about the meds thing? If so, how did they react?

My sister was reading my list to her and told her I needed them.
I feel like the staff here is convincing me to do all things wrong. I only dialed the toll free number sent to me.
Don't call at all please.

Here's what my mom emailed my Gurl friend: "I don't want you talking to my daughter at all on the internet or at school. If I hear of any kind of contact with my daughter i will be forced to contact authorities about you conduct. What kind of friend are you to give advise anyway. ???????"

Can I ask why you told the counselor you needed them (also why was your sister in the counseling office with you)?

I want to say that the advice we're giving is based upon what we know about abuse and how reporting works (and what needs to be reported). Unfortunately, we can't control how other people in the reporting process respond. So I don't blame you for feeling like the reporting back-fired. We couldn't know it would, and neither could you. But it was worth a try (and the channel that's set-up to handle this).

It sounds like you've been having a rough few days. Do you have ways to do some self-care today?

Also, that message was inappropriate of her to send (and is also an empty threat. There's no law against talking to someone on a forum)