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I don’t know if my crush is single

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
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Sabine
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Location: California, USA

I don’t know if my crush is single

Unread post by Sabine »

I have someone I am interested in, although I don’t think I can even be interested in her because I saw her photos. I found her on the dating app and she provided her Instagram in the description. She has brown hair, she has a nice style and shes in her 20s. But I looked at her Instagram posts and she may have had a girlfriend, but from a while back. However, she checked the dating app twice since I was on it, so I am not sure. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to talk to her or whether its worth it to do so (or just wait if she does match and/or friend request with me on the app). If so, what should the content of the message I should send her on Instagram?
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Sam W
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Re: I don’t know if my crush is single

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Sabine,

Is this the same person you've been crushing on for awhile? If so, then the way to approach this would be just to ask (assuming she's giving you signals that she's interested in continuing contact). Since you're both on the dating app,I think you're within bounds in assuming she's looking for someone to date and asking her what kind of relationship she may be looking for. Have you and she had any more conversations?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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Sabine
not a newbie
Posts: 164
Joined: Tue May 19, 2020 6:27 am
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: The way I can really think and analyze
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/Her
Sexual identity: Lesbian
Location: California, USA

Re: I don’t know if my crush is single

Unread post by Sabine »

No its not the same person. I haven’t had conversations with her no, but she provided her Insta in the description, so I don’t know what to do or what message should I send.
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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: I don’t know if my crush is single

Unread post by Sam W »

Ah, got it, thank you for clarifying. In that case, it seems like a first step would be to match with her or message her on the app to see if she's interested in talking. If she is, and you two strike up a conversation, odds are your relationship status will be a part of it. Does that feel doable?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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Sabine
not a newbie
Posts: 164
Joined: Tue May 19, 2020 6:27 am
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: The way I can really think and analyze
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/Her
Sexual identity: Lesbian
Location: California, USA

Re: I don’t know if my crush is single

Unread post by Sabine »

Yeah. That makes sense and I talked to someone and they said the same thing.

Would it be weird to message her on Insta? She did provide it in her profile. I am tempted to, but I don’t want to scare her. I hope she matches and/or friend requests with me soon. I really hope I can have a zoom date with her like she said in her profile.
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Mo
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Sexual identity: queer/bisexual

Re: I don’t know if my crush is single

Unread post by Mo »

I think the best thing to do would be to message or match with her on the app itself, since that's the initial place where you found her. Some people might be a bit put off by someone messaging them on another platform after seeing them on a dating app; not everyone would be, but I think it's most polite to stick with the place where you first saw her.
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