Scarleteen

Hey Scarleteen.

This is my first question that isn't related to pregnancy scare. yay!

Ok, so I had been imagining a scenario where I am married to my GF, and really trying to have a baby. Obviously, I'll have sex as much as possible to increase the chance.

Now, sex can be tiring (intercourse) if done everyday. So, I've been imagining to just masturbate, ejaculate on my hand, and put them manually in her vagina.

My question: IF, somehow, the sperm that got her pregnant were the one indirectly transferred by my hand, will this affect the baby in a negative way? (e.g. premature, birth defects, etc.)


Thanks in advance.

Hi john,

Nope, that wouldn't affect the sperm or the potential resulting baby. Sperm in semen can die if exposed to air for too long, but they would just flat-out die and not fertilize the egg.

I'm glad you had a question that wasn't related to pregnancy scares directly, but I do want to check in with you about whether this is an issue that's causing you some anxiety as well?

Hi Amanda!

Thanks for answering and asking.

Generally, I am really really anxious person. Pregnancy scare is just one of them. If my gf doesn't reply for a certain time when she's out of country, I would search up the crime rate of the country she's at. If my gf doesn't reply when she's at home, I'd think that she fell down in the toilet, or got robbed and killed or anything. If she complains about her stomach, I'd think it's cancer.

Anyway, regarding this topic, I'm getting married shortly (maybe a year). I am EXTREMELY anxious about my baby. What if I we can't have a baby? What if our baby is born mentally/physically disabled? I've done some research regarding statistics about baby birth defect (which is pretty low) but it didn't convince me. What if I were the 5% (made up number) with birth defect?

No matter how many 'assurances' that I get, it doesn't matter.

I just can't stop thinking about them. I need help

Hi John,

I know we've spoken about your issues with anxiety in the past. Have you used any of the books or resources that were recommended? Or have you looked into or gotten connected with a mental healthcare provider who could help you manage those anxieties?

I also want to caution you against borrowing trouble; that is, worrying about things that aren't even on the table yet or are things you cannot control or predict. Fixating on those sorts of things is a great way to stay stuck in an anxious loop. Too, when it comes to raising a disabled child, I want to remind you that having a disabled kid is not the end of the world. While it may present some unexpected challenges, people still build happy families that include disabled kids.

Hi Sam,

Thank you for your response.

To you, and to anyone who sees this, I am in no way trying to offend or have anything against disabled child, sorry for poor choice of words.

I haven't read any of your books or connected to any mental healthcare provider. Thanks for reminding me. After this post, I'll literally go to my old post and read the books recommended by you.

I realize I shouldn't waste your effort and certainly not take your service for granted.

Thanks again, I promise I'll read the books first before posting anything again.

Have a nice day Sam and Amanda.

Hi john,

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. We appreciate you!